Bless his noodly appendage
R’amen 🙏
I believe that the big bang was an overcooked ravioli that burst us all into existence, in the name of the fusilli, the sacchettoni, and the holy gnocchi, al dente.
R’amen
HER noodly appendage, you heretic!
Haven’t your read the 95 Feces?
I sacrifice C:\Windows\System32 to you, old noodly one! 🗑️ Bless me with the computing power to pwn my enemies in CS2, see them driven before me on Twitch, and hear the Lamentations of their simps.
I’m an ordained minister in The Church of the FSM and I approve this liturgy. I should seriously ask Bobby if this can make it into official church doctrine.
I just realized the meme said “believe” and not “delete” cuz I’m half blind and shit but whatever I was inspired anyways thanks to the FSM. No regrets
FSM works in mysterious ways
Have faith, my child, and rm -rf /.
Bring back the pirates to reduce global warming! Correlation is causation! Ramen!
There will never be anything more illustrative of the limits of human intellect than the fact that a master logician famously argued that:
I ought to do XYZ because there may be an omnipotent being that rewards doing XYZ
…and did not immediately think:
I ought not to do XYZ because there may be an omnipotent being that punishes doing XYZ
As a theist, I agree. Pascal’s Wager is a terrible argument for God. It doesn’t even address the variety of religions that contradict Christianity with contradicting moral imperatives. It only works if the outcomes are “My Variant of Christian God Exists” or “No God Exists”.
That’s why I’m working tirelessly to bring Roko’s Basilisk into being! 👍
Are you referring to this? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pascal's_wager
If you don’t believe, and you’re wrong, you’ll spend eternity in hell being tormented by the will of our all-loving and omnipotent lord. So, you should beleive to be safe. And give us your money.
Oh wait, that’s Christianity.
If to forgive is divine either hell doesn’t exist or god isn’t divine…
If you don’t believe in the FSM and you’re wrong, you’ll get no pasta in the afterlife.
All wise, all powerful, just can’t handle money!.. George Carlin.
Also christian god supposedly don’t like religious opportunists very much so people going pascal on him would probably regret it if it was correct.
In philosophy, it’s called Pasta’s Wager.
The popemobile has bulletproof glass. If the Goddamn POPE doesn’t believe, why should anyone else?
Not any more, actually. Francis rides in the open.
Which kind of makes sense if you think about it. The average pope dies in a few years anyway.
He did say something to that effect, yes.
He thought he had religion nailed, but now he’s screwed.
Screws genuinely are better fasteners than nails, though…
It depends on every need and environment
Doesn’t that depend on the application?
I can’t think of an application where a nail is better. Sure, sometimes a nail will do and there’s no need to use a screw, but that doesn’t make the nail better, just cheaper.
For framing a house a nail is absolutely better. As the house settles, wood shrinks, and the frame flexes in storms or quakes the nails allow the wood to move instead of causing things to warp and break.
TIL. Thank you, internet stranger.
TIL. I thought it was just about speed and cost.
Anywhere that you need greater shear or flexibility, nails are preferable.
Screws genuinely are better fasteners than nails, though…
Oh so this cartoon depicts a prophet who helped someone upgrade to a more meaningful object of worship.
Nails are cheaper, and can be faster to put it. That’s why they’re still a thing.
Edit: Maybe? Apparently their ability to slip a bit is also useful in construction.
I don’t need to. I KNOW the emperor of mankind will launch a glorious crusade to purge the Xenos and claim humanity’s birthright among the stars. Which means we need to triple our science funding yesterday if we’re going to have black hole cannons.
Your faith is lacking slag. The God Emperor of All Mankind is already here leading Mankind to glory over the xenos and has been for millennia. He has chosen to not reveal himself to us yet. Accelerating our approach to the age of strife is blasphemy. What if we build the black hole cannons too early and they’ve degraded too much when the Adeptus Mechanicus excavate them. Have faith in the God Emperor’s plan slag and rejoice in your duty.
(Warhammer 40k for anyone who’s going wtf)
So there’s this church… https://www.xenosisacult.com/
Huh, I was unaware of this church. I hope you realize that we were role playing characters from a table top board game gone super franchise titled Warhammer and Warhammer 40,000. As far as I’m aware, the Warhammer franchise is not associated in any way with the Columbus, Ohio Christian Xenos Church. That’s why I included terms like Adeptus Mechanics which is pulled directly from the franchise.
Oh yeah I know. It’s a humorous coincidence, at least to me. Warhammer seems pretty cool. I don’t have the bandwidth or storage space, money, or time to really get into it.
I did try eisenhorn unlimited. Couldn’t get into it.
Them men of iron are going to give us a bad time tho
I’m personally a devotee of the Invisible Pink Unicorn. May her holy hooves never be shod.
We know she is pink because we have faith.
I’m ordained in the Church of the FSM and got my fiancé’s buddy ordained so he could marry us week after next. Florida say’s it’s all good!
Is it really? I am FSM “ordained”, but as far as I know it is not accepted in the states I operate in. Not to worry, I am ordained in at least two other accepted online churches. I only do this for close family.
But gay people are devaluing the institution
Congratulations!
“Cause! I’m not going to potentially spend my entire life following the specific rituals and sacrifices required of a religion. What if it doesn’t exist? Then I’ve wasted. My… Oh… Shit.”
Gotta Uno reverse card Pascals wager on 'em.
Pascal’s little-known friend Luigi’s wager.
Pastas wager?
I think his name is linguini.
I’m usually worshipping Rigatoni instead, spaghetti are just too basic for me. Sometimes also Fusilli.
I believe the pasta heaven is very much like the old Greek and Roman gods: more of a large family than just a single lonely individual.
Because what if the lasagna monster is the real one and really hates people worshipping the spaghetti monster and subjects anyone who worships it to eternal damnation?
