- cross-posted to:
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- cross-posted to:
- [email protected]
Good, WWIII needs some meat puppets.
Their products are utter garbage to begin with, this can only hasten their well-deserved demise.
“Uh, we need you to clear out your desk ASAP.”
“Sure, just submit a JIRA ticket and I’ll get right on it.”
Yet everyone helps feed this AI beast. No one thinks… Maybe I’m helping this through my data.
“AI is too dumb to take our jobs” as if that matters. that’s not even the point, the point of Generative AI is to mine data and devalue human labour. according to the like 120 people who run this world too many people are making too much money so now we have a dogshit “technology” made to cut your wages whenever it’s convenient.
Atlassian is getting thrashed in the stockmarket and they’re using AI as a get out of jail free card to conduct massive layoffs.
Its too bad that in the end they are just making forgettable tools that jira aside already have extensive competition, that actually feel built for enterprise vs the garbage atlassian is making.
If it wasn’t for the army of agile cultists who claim that work is impossible without Jira they’d probably already be a much smaller company.
Best time to create AI free alternatives for those products.
It was always a good time to create alternatives to Atlassian products.
This is going to be horrible. We’ve been trying to get a quote from them for a bit bucket subscription for the past 6 months with no success. I doubt we’ll be getting anything faster now.
It’s not because of their garbage AI. It’s because their garbage AI is leading to people dropping them like a bad habit for open source and fucking Microsoft alternatives, so they need to reduce operating costs and CAPEX to demonstrate profit growth
I’m amazed they had 1600 employees to begin with. I guess it takes a lot of resources to make something suck as hard as JIRA
3 coders and 1597 managers.
At least 100 of those employees implemented the feature to autocorrect JIRA to Jira, just to be haughty insufferable ass.
They renamed “project” to “space”, so that it’s harder to find what you are looking for.
They renamed “ticket” to “work item” to “issue”. (We all still call it a ticket)
Stories? Events? Kanban?
Fuck you, I need a text box, date field and some box to tick that says I’m done.
All this so that some VP with their thumb up their ass who spends 2/3 of the year in Florida knows I’m working!
Who else is going to put the sidebar as top bar, and then switch them back a couple years later?
We have https://codeberg.org/ as an alternative to Bitbucket, and you can have free public static pages like Netlify or Github pages.
Codeberg also offers private repos.
TBH Atlassian was already such terrible slop, unsupervised AI might even make it better
They will rehire for less. The AI hype is just a wage suppression scheme.
My employer has been axing so many high level engineers it’s not even funny. I think that’s terrible for engineer morale. Why would you want to strive to improve and get promoted if it just makes you “too expensive to keep on payroll”?
We need more tech unions and tech coops.
Guillotines we need more guillotines
We need to organize a proper rebellion before we get to guillotines and starting with unions is a place to work from.
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Add this on top of federal layoffs, inflation, tariffs, higher interest rates (I know they’re necessary sometimes), etc. The average American is getting screwed right now.
There is a Jira ticket (ID-240) for Atlassian requesting the ability to merge Atlassian accounts that is over 10 years old. I’m one of the 1,450 watchers. This news does not bode well for this ticket ever getting implemented.
well the good part is you don’t need to merge those accounts anymore
Yet they can sponsor an F1 team.
Good, someone has to think of the poor race car drivers, and their million dollar team.
A million dollars is probably just the catering budget, tbh. I don’t even know what this company does, I just saw that no one else had pointed this out. It sounds like I’m lucky to not use their software.
Every company is just firing employees left and right and I’m not sure what they all expect to happen. I guess just through the magic of AI they can have less workers do more for the same pay. But damn, so many people let go all over the place.
They make jira, project management software that is so slow and annoying you’re better off using a chat and shared files on Google drive.
They also make a bunch of other shitty software but jira is the most famous.
I was thinking along the same lines, like they probably spend more on fuel. I remember when Honda pissed everyone off in the 1990s after inflating F1 budgets and then suddenly leaving the sport when the Japanese market crashed. At the time they had Honda factory R&D teams designing and building engines just for F1 teams; that was probably tens of millions a year that wasn’t even part of a team’s budget… in the 80s and 90s.
Anyhow… F1 teams have a budget cap for several years now. For 2026, it’s $215 million, and that doesn’t include engines, nor driver and team manager salaries.
So you telling me Jira and all its related bullshit will get even worse? I hadn’t thought it possible.
Pretty much all of my colleagues wasted time, because Jira stores comments locally that you haven’t yet send, but not does not do that for replies on comments. Those are gone after reopening the site for some reason.
There’s a chance that leaning out the team makes things better. Bloat kills dev teams.
But… ticketing systems are a bit like fashion. We could see some new shiny system come around that does more or less the same thing, but becomes fashionable for one reason or another and eats Atlassian’s lunch.
You’re absolutely right!
Would you like me to yassify this ticket for you?
Put some emojis in my SQL, fam
That’s just a failure of learning and imagination.
I’m just being facetious, I of course know there is no bottom to how shitty things can be.
Feel like that’s on you, unless you were born yesterday.
About 6 months ago they spent more than half a billion acquiring The Browser Company whose only currently-being-developed product is a pretty wrapper for ChatGPT
My god, that’s worse than Wonder buying shitty software from Sweetgreen for $186 million.
That explains the explosion of unwanted AI features in Jira these days. No, I don’t need you to re-write my fucking ticket comment!








