My finger, ground to a bloody stump, is tapping the sign saying that maybe there’s a reason why this is all so crazy yet again, as something pretty fucking crazy happened today. No, it wasn’t a democratic socialist being elected mayor of America’s largest city, but that the most famed office in the land now has what looks like some printer paper taped to its exterior with Live, Laugh, Love font reading, “The Oval Office.”

The Daily Beast reached out to the White House who told them that “President Trump is making the White House beautiful and giving it the glory it deserves. Only the Daily Beast and people with a severe case of Trump Derangement Syndrome would find a problem with that.” They don’t even know why this is happening! What the hell is this???

You can see a near-rounded or bent edge on the paper scrawled with “The” in one angle, while it sure looks like the three words reside on three separate pieces of roughly 8.5 x 11 paper that are unevenly stacked on top of each other. Again, every time I tap the sign, I should issue the disclosure that there’s many very good reasons you don’t diagnose health problems from a distance, but the problem of whittling down the possibilities for whatever this is excludes the entire rational universe. Irrationality is a much more difficult range to narrow down, and there is an explanation I have heard some folks echo.

“This is what they did at one of my mother’s dementia facilities, so that residents are less likely to get lost,” wrote author Andrea Pitzer. She is far from alone in connecting the labeling of the Oval Office to memory issues, but honestly, it still doesn’t explain this shit.

Why is it sloppily strewn across three separate pieces of paper? Is it taped to the wall? What kind of tape? This is the fucking Oval Office for Pete’s sake! If the old coot really is losing it and wandering around not knowing where he is, why does it look like this was thrown together in five minutes on Word? We’ve all seen Trump’s kitschy gilded setup inside, so why isn’t there some plastic-looking spray-painted gold lettering outside? Seriously…what the fuck is going on?!

I’m sorry for all the cursing, but I tend to lean on that crutch when I am genuinely confused. My brain is good at making connections between various kinds of information, but when that information is trash, it just glitches out and starts yelling at me. In all my years of covering Trump 1.0 and Trump 2.0, I can’t think of anything that has happened that has less of an obvious explanation for it and has exasperated me like this. I’m sure our mild-mannered commenters have some ideas of their own over this extremely normal development outside the Oval Office, and for once I may actually read through all of them to see what theories people come up with.