Asserting that peoples behaviors are intrinsically violent can also be a violent means of communication. Not that are shouldn’t respond to problematic behaviors - and there are circumstances that are as you describe.
No, you didn’t say it was always violent, but for a pattern of thinking and feeling that is so common, so useful, and so beneficial in so many ways, I don’t think there wholesale focus on how bad it is is warranted.
Obviously, as with most mentalities, there are benefits and detriments to it. But there are a lot of people that perform model synchronization by verifying the predictive capacity of the model they hold (whether or not they think of that progress consciously). It’s a means of getting on the same page. Sometimes it’s lovey-dovey. Sometimes it’s practical. Sometimes it’s controlling and problematic. But, by no means is it always, or even generally, violent.
Projecting personal dialogue onto others doesn’t make you a messiah.
If someone doesn’t like what you’re doing to them, and you know it’s making them uncomfortable and you even go as far as to tout it to shame them and give it an excuse “oh they don’t like having their thoughts said out loud”, you are doing what an abuser does. Minimize their victims. You don’t even allow them to defend themselves. This is abusive behaviour.
Asserting that peoples behaviors are intrinsically violent can also be a violent means of communication
Abusers also try to turn tables and call themselves a victim at the moment someone calls out their abusive behavior.
projecting personal dialogue into others doesn’t make you a messiah
Why would I think it does? do you not see that you are projecting that?
If someone doesn’t like what you’re doing to them, and you know it’s making them uncomfortable and you even go as far as to tout it to shame them and give it an excuse “oh they don’t like having their thoughts said out loud”, you are doing what an abuser does. Minimize their victims. You don’t even allow them to defend themselves. This is abusive behaviour.
I don’t think you’re fighting me here. …and I’m not interested in fighting you. I am not doing or saying what you think I am, and you have clearly placed me in the role of your abuser. I’m uninterested. …and if that is something you consider abusive, that’s on you.
Abusers also try to turn tables and call themselves a victim at the moment someone calls out their abusive behavior.
I am not claiming to be a victim, and I am uninterested in victimizing others (though I am interested in patterns of behavior in general, including trauma loops). My goal here is to converse and discuss interesting concepts.
I still think that what I actually said stands, regardless of your interpretation, which I disagree with.
Asserting that peoples behaviors are intrinsically violent can also be a violent means of communication. Not that are shouldn’t respond to problematic behaviors - and there are circumstances that are as you describe.
No, you didn’t say it was always violent, but for a pattern of thinking and feeling that is so common, so useful, and so beneficial in so many ways, I don’t think there wholesale focus on how bad it is is warranted.
Obviously, as with most mentalities, there are benefits and detriments to it. But there are a lot of people that perform model synchronization by verifying the predictive capacity of the model they hold (whether or not they think of that progress consciously). It’s a means of getting on the same page. Sometimes it’s lovey-dovey. Sometimes it’s practical. Sometimes it’s controlling and problematic. But, by no means is it always, or even generally, violent.
Projecting personal dialogue onto others doesn’t make you a messiah.
If someone doesn’t like what you’re doing to them, and you know it’s making them uncomfortable and you even go as far as to tout it to shame them and give it an excuse “oh they don’t like having their thoughts said out loud”, you are doing what an abuser does. Minimize their victims. You don’t even allow them to defend themselves. This is abusive behaviour.
Abusers also try to turn tables and call themselves a victim at the moment someone calls out their abusive behavior.
Why would I think it does? do you not see that you are projecting that?
I don’t think you’re fighting me here. …and I’m not interested in fighting you. I am not doing or saying what you think I am, and you have clearly placed me in the role of your abuser. I’m uninterested. …and if that is something you consider abusive, that’s on you.
I am not claiming to be a victim, and I am uninterested in victimizing others (though I am interested in patterns of behavior in general, including trauma loops). My goal here is to converse and discuss interesting concepts.
I still think that what I actually said stands, regardless of your interpretation, which I disagree with.