Hear me out:

The only, absolutely only reason why people don’t generally marry on the first date is to figure out whether they DON’T fit together.

So if you manage to figure out that the relationship is not going to work out before you get into real commitments (kids, mortgage, …) you successfully avoided trouble.

I see it so often that people think that dating is already a strong commitment and that ending a dead-end relationship is a failure.

There is no shame in realizing the relationship is going nowhere and ending it.

  • squaresinger@lemmy.worldOP
    1·
    3 hours ago

    That’s fair, yes.

    I think this might both be caused by media portraying relationships weirdly. On the one hand difficulty in long term relationships is displayed as a reason to end the relationship, while difficulty in new relationships is portrayed as something that warrants going to crazy lengths with huge romantic gestures to save the relationship.

    In reality it’s just the other way round. If you start your relationship and there’s stuff where the partners are seriously incompatible, that’s a good reason to end it while investment and commitment is still low and there’s not a lot of cost to ending the relationship. On the other hand, if you have a long-term high-commitment relationship, investing more effort in saving it totally makes sense.