Sure, I think I can find studies that affirms my biases too if I really want to.
Personally, I don’t believe that parents are so miserable and childless people are so happy. Maybe at some stage in life that can be measured to be objectively true, but longterm, dude, I think the parents win the happiness lottery if the childless people choose to never move on from their 20s and grow up and take part in their community.
I invest time and money into my nieces and nephews and into my friends’ kids too. Because they are family and I care about them and their parents and it gives me joy to know that I’m a part of something either directly or indirectly, depending on circumstances. I do it because I know that there is also a day after tomorrow where I would become alone and forgotten and have no one to lean on if I don’t contribute and invest anything into the future, which in this case it other people’s children.
At some point, we have to remember that the world is bigger than ourselves and if we only invest in ourselves our whole lives, we will end up very very very alone.
You went too hard in the other direction. Sure parents aren’t miserable, but studies do show childless adults are happier. Maybe they’re less fulfilled? That’s hard to say if you never wanted kids. Also you can enjoy being around friends and make their lives better and invest in your community, not like kids, and still be very fulfilled. If you don’t enjoy kids that doesn’t impact your life negatively unless you don’t understand how to be happy on your own.
The thing is, as you grow older, your friends tend to have kids at some point and you kinda have to give a fuck about their kids if you hope to hold on to those friendships. That’s the point. If you invest into a community, kids are bound to be a part of that community at some point. Especially if that community wants to survive and not slowly and sadly die out on its own.
It’s not about who is better, it’s the total rejection of reality that I take issue with when it comes to smug childless people who look down on people who have kids. It’s like those people think that they will be 20 forever. That’s not how life works. Better to wake up and understand what it takes to be a part of society - which includes children - than to run around in denial for an entire life and then wake up one morning and realize that you allowed yourself to isolate yourself from society for no good reason. Now nobody knows you and nobody cares about you because you never cared to know them.
You don’t have to be a total fan of children, but if you hate kids and hate parents and look down on them and act like your childfree life is superior, you will end up having to deal with the consequences of that someday and it’s not going to be pretty.
Sure, I think I can find studies that affirms my biases too if I really want to.
Personally, I don’t believe that parents are so miserable and childless people are so happy. Maybe at some stage in life that can be measured to be objectively true, but longterm, dude, I think the parents win the happiness lottery if the childless people choose to never move on from their 20s and grow up and take part in their community. I invest time and money into my nieces and nephews and into my friends’ kids too. Because they are family and I care about them and their parents and it gives me joy to know that I’m a part of something either directly or indirectly, depending on circumstances. I do it because I know that there is also a day after tomorrow where I would become alone and forgotten and have no one to lean on if I don’t contribute and invest anything into the future, which in this case it other people’s children.
At some point, we have to remember that the world is bigger than ourselves and if we only invest in ourselves our whole lives, we will end up very very very alone.
You went too hard in the other direction. Sure parents aren’t miserable, but studies do show childless adults are happier. Maybe they’re less fulfilled? That’s hard to say if you never wanted kids. Also you can enjoy being around friends and make their lives better and invest in your community, not like kids, and still be very fulfilled. If you don’t enjoy kids that doesn’t impact your life negatively unless you don’t understand how to be happy on your own.
The thing is, as you grow older, your friends tend to have kids at some point and you kinda have to give a fuck about their kids if you hope to hold on to those friendships. That’s the point. If you invest into a community, kids are bound to be a part of that community at some point. Especially if that community wants to survive and not slowly and sadly die out on its own.
It’s not about who is better, it’s the total rejection of reality that I take issue with when it comes to smug childless people who look down on people who have kids. It’s like those people think that they will be 20 forever. That’s not how life works. Better to wake up and understand what it takes to be a part of society - which includes children - than to run around in denial for an entire life and then wake up one morning and realize that you allowed yourself to isolate yourself from society for no good reason. Now nobody knows you and nobody cares about you because you never cared to know them.
You don’t have to be a total fan of children, but if you hate kids and hate parents and look down on them and act like your childfree life is superior, you will end up having to deal with the consequences of that someday and it’s not going to be pretty.