Lol, you don’t understand the internet, good person, but you are the physical embodiment of its current base.

Step 1: Call fraud on a legitimate claim from someone who was there at the time.

Step 2: Boast about your long, prolific history on the Internet to establish your credentials.

Step 3: Double back because you stayed an a strangely singular lane, and as @paul points out, still avoiding getting it.

Keep on keeping on, I guess.