Workers who love ‘synergizing paradigms’ might be bad at their jobs | Cornell Chronicle
news.cornell.edu
Employees who are impressed by vague corporate-speak like “synergistic leadership,” or “growth-hacking paradigms” may struggle with practical decision-making, a new Cornell study into “corporate BS” reveals.

YA THINK?

“Corporate bullshit is a specific style of communication that uses confusing, abstract buzzwords in a functionally misleading way,” said Littrell, a postdoctoral researcher in the College of Arts and Sciences. “Unlike technical jargon, which can sometimes make office communication a little easier, corporate bullshit confuses rather than clarifies. It may sound impressive, but it is semantically empty.”

  • ameancow@lemmy.worldEnglish
    22·
    11 hours ago

    One of my last jobs I started entry-level clerical work but I noticed everyone in the office was talking like this, so I started in on it, I would take advantage of meetings and group projects to just spout utter bullshit like “We really have to circle our wagons and take some of this conversation offline so we can maximize the returns from our diversity” and holy shit did it have an impact. I was promoted before my first year was up, I was invited to more and more meetings, I was treated like a manager before I was even given the role. I was eventually laid off when the company was bought out by private equity but not before climbing to higher management.

    • MagnificentSteiner@lemmy.zipEnglish
      5·
      7 hours ago

      “We really have to circle our wagons and take some of this conversation offline so we can maximize the returns from our diversity”

      Oh man, you missed an opportunity there… you could have put “Going forward” in front of it!

    • P1nkman@lemmy.worldEnglish
      10·
      10 hours ago

      I did the same. Worked as an IT Problem Manager for one of the worlds largest oil companies for 6 years. Got tired of the bullshit, now I work as a developer in a small company. Pay is way less, but man, an I happier now than 10 years ago!

        • P1nkman@lemmy.worldEnglish
          1·
          1 hour ago

          Honestly, I had no programming experience. I told my wife I’m tired and need a change. Signed up for 100Devs, an intensive course, especially watching it live in the middle of night twice a week while maintaining a full-time job, but if you ask me, it paid off in the end! But man, it was a fucking hard 9 months.

      • ameancow@lemmy.worldEnglish
        3·
        10 hours ago

        Yah, shit, I was making salary for the first time in my life and my entire job consisted of acting engaged at pointless meetings.

        I make half as much now, but I also hate this work too so there’s that. I keep thinking about picking up some better coding skillsets but then I see yet another workplace gutted by AI and wonder how much time I have as a white-collar worker at all. Might have to go back to painting figures for money.