Yeah, it’s obviously framed like this to dunk on the non-gamer for being goofy, but the reality is (most of the time) someone forcing an ultimatum like this is doing is because every other method failed. So, it’s hard for me to see this anything other than a sort of power fantasy. I’m not sure what to call it. An “I’m right” fantasy? A high-horse fantasy? Not sure.
And the frustrating this is that goofy posts like this hide this so well, because yes, ultimatums are generally bad, but if you point out something like that, they’ll just say something like the non-gamer just jumped to the ultimatum with no warning… But… It’s just a single panel. There’s literally nothing else.
Idk, it’s just weird to me. Also feels a little misogynistic.
And yet it’s usually the woman in memes like this that’s behaving inappropriately and usually the woman that’s acting boring in the memes comparing boys and girls.
This absolutely happens, and women can be toxic too. Not everything is misogyny. I’ve had some absolutely horrible girlfriends and women in my life. I’ve also had amazing women in my life. Instead of assuming everything is misogyny you could idk… maybe consider that women arent always sunshine and rainbows?
Idk, it’s just weird to me. Also feels a little misogynistic.
You derailed the whole post because you have no concept of nuance. Now, this is a misogyny thread, because that’s the only lens through which to perceive the world, apparently.
No, you’re cooked. Tonight at 10 there will be two ogres in linux t-shirts at your door. They’ll escort you to the lemmy dungeon where you’ll spend the rest of your life.
It’s not a reasonable response at all. It’s unhealthy AF.
If the partner is prioritizing games over their relationship or responsibilities, and is making the other feel like they have to compete for attention and time with their partners habits or addiction. The affected partner hss every right to desire to leave that relationship because their needs are not being met in that relationship.
This is what the ultimatum is targeting. His response being intentionally obtuse and flipping it back around to the partner whose needs are likely not being met in their relationship being the problem is extremely toxic and manipulative.
I like how everyone is inventing a scenario to fit the two lines of dialogue and claiming it’s this or that.
There’s no way to definitely say if it’s reasonable or not because they guy could be prioritizing gaming over his life and relationship or the lady could just be embarrassed that she is dating a guy with “immature” hobbies and he may be very regulated about the time spent gaming.
In one scenario it’s reasonable in the other it’s not.
Because woman. And it’s misogynistic to put women in that role in a meme. Because they would clearly never do that, and nobody has ever experienced this, and in any case what men experience is misogynistic. So, apparently this is now a misogyny thread. If it was a man saying it, it would be ok, because it wouldn’t be misogyny. Simple as.
people are confirming their biases via projection, often into extreme scenarios because those are more emotionally vivid and dramatic, than more mundane ones.
If the two characters were a gay couple you’d see very different replies, and probably a lot more light hearted ones, but a lot fewer of them.
but this one nicely plays into the ‘men who play video games are awful and terrible people’ trope, especially with the headline inciting that the male is the mature one here.
and for some folks in relationships, they MUST be the victim, no matter what. those were my favorite breakups, the classic ‘i am doing this but it’s hurting me more than you so therefore i’m the real victim’ nonsense. classic! you can bet some posters who think that way are totally triggered by any suggestion they might be the problematic one.
plus you know, the weirdos who just have an irrational hatred for people who play video games and think they are all depraved jobless man children who goon to anime girls all day.
anyway, it’s fun because so many folks tell on themselves without realizing it, when you put up these kind of relationship Rorschach tests.
And I was dating a girl for a month and she mocked me for playing video games while she was on vacation and said video games are immature and the only reason I should ever play them was when I was spending time with my nephew.
Context matters, yes, but how often do we see posts painting men in a bad light with no context and everyone cheers it on?
Who the fuck is saying this is about women in general?
how often do we see posts painting men in a bad light with no context and everyone cheers it on?
That happens constantly. Is this a joke? The difference is only you see it in MAN VS WOMAN. Everyone else is like, yeah, everyone can be a piece of shit. In this meme, it’s a woman. It’s also a biped. It’s also a mammal. You are the one making the distinction mean something it doesn’t. Because YOU see people as Women VS Men. That’s on you. Nobody owes it to you to explain themselves when they want to express who they are and what they go through.
Man goes through bullshit with a woman- posts meme about it. That’s a valid experience, he’s not a victim, or are we trying to cast whoever tries to navigate this situation responsibly and maturely while not compromising his integrity as the bad guy? Victim blaming? You need to stop being so black and white about everything, you’re complaining about people being like you- divisive and dismissive against a group of people in general. Take the beam out of your own eye first, buddy.
Honestly this is a contrived conversation, but I don’t think the guys answer is that far off of a healthy response. It is important to shutdown this type of behavior when it happens.
She would be much better off just saying, “When you ignore me or your chores by playing video games it makes me feel like you don’t care about the work it takes to maintain our home and relationship.”
Without more context she could definitely be shitty or as the poster I responded to said, it could be a toxic response if he is actually ignoring his chores and the relationship by playing games.
I am probably making more out of it than it is though and overthinking things.
This is a reasonable response, however if his habits are inhibiting his lifestyle then she has every right to bring it up as an issue.
FRFR glitches be trippin
Yeah, it’s obviously framed like this to dunk on the non-gamer for being goofy, but the reality is (most of the time) someone forcing an ultimatum like this is doing is because every other method failed. So, it’s hard for me to see this anything other than a sort of power fantasy. I’m not sure what to call it. An “I’m right” fantasy? A high-horse fantasy? Not sure.
And the frustrating this is that goofy posts like this hide this so well, because yes, ultimatums are generally bad, but if you point out something like that, they’ll just say something like the non-gamer just jumped to the ultimatum with no warning… But… It’s just a single panel. There’s literally nothing else.
Idk, it’s just weird to me. Also feels a little misogynistic.
Lost me at the misogynistic part. There’s nothing about this that necessitates a specific gender, just happens to be what’s in the meme.
And yet it’s usually the woman in memes like this that’s behaving inappropriately and usually the woman that’s acting boring in the memes comparing boys and girls.
You’re free to do your own memes about whatever you want, buddy.
Never said I couldn’t.
And it’s ok when other people do, too.
Never said they couldn’t.
Never said you did!
This absolutely happens, and women can be toxic too. Not everything is misogyny. I’ve had some absolutely horrible girlfriends and women in my life. I’ve also had amazing women in my life. Instead of assuming everything is misogyny you could idk… maybe consider that women arent always sunshine and rainbows?
When did I say otherwise? I even specifically mentioned most of the time in my comment, acknowledging that it’s not universal.
Huh?
You derailed the whole post because you have no concept of nuance. Now, this is a misogyny thread, because that’s the only lens through which to perceive the world, apparently.
Theeere we go. It’s misogynistic everybody. Pack it up, we’re done.
“Feels a little misogynistic” is all I said, jeez. 🙄
No, you’re cooked. Tonight at 10 there will be two ogres in linux t-shirts at your door. They’ll escort you to the lemmy dungeon where you’ll spend the rest of your life.
Oh gods, it the Lemmy dungeon! I better eat some beans as I’ll need to not poop for three days.
That explains why you’re full of shit.
It’s not a reasonable response at all. It’s unhealthy AF.
If the partner is prioritizing games over their relationship or responsibilities, and is making the other feel like they have to compete for attention and time with their partners habits or addiction. The affected partner hss every right to desire to leave that relationship because their needs are not being met in that relationship.
This is what the ultimatum is targeting. His response being intentionally obtuse and flipping it back around to the partner whose needs are likely not being met in their relationship being the problem is extremely toxic and manipulative.
I like how everyone is inventing a scenario to fit the two lines of dialogue and claiming it’s this or that.
There’s no way to definitely say if it’s reasonable or not because they guy could be prioritizing gaming over his life and relationship or the lady could just be embarrassed that she is dating a guy with “immature” hobbies and he may be very regulated about the time spent gaming.
In one scenario it’s reasonable in the other it’s not.
Because woman. And it’s misogynistic to put women in that role in a meme. Because they would clearly never do that, and nobody has ever experienced this, and in any case what men experience is misogynistic. So, apparently this is now a misogyny thread. If it was a man saying it, it would be ok, because it wouldn’t be misogyny. Simple as.
people are confirming their biases via projection, often into extreme scenarios because those are more emotionally vivid and dramatic, than more mundane ones.
If the two characters were a gay couple you’d see very different replies, and probably a lot more light hearted ones, but a lot fewer of them.
but this one nicely plays into the ‘men who play video games are awful and terrible people’ trope, especially with the headline inciting that the male is the mature one here.
and for some folks in relationships, they MUST be the victim, no matter what. those were my favorite breakups, the classic ‘i am doing this but it’s hurting me more than you so therefore i’m the real victim’ nonsense. classic! you can bet some posters who think that way are totally triggered by any suggestion they might be the problematic one.
plus you know, the weirdos who just have an irrational hatred for people who play video games and think they are all depraved jobless man children who goon to anime girls all day.
anyway, it’s fun because so many folks tell on themselves without realizing it, when you put up these kind of relationship Rorschach tests.
deleted by creator
And I was dating a girl for a month and she mocked me for playing video games while she was on vacation and said video games are immature and the only reason I should ever play them was when I was spending time with my nephew.
Context matters, yes, but how often do we see posts painting men in a bad light with no context and everyone cheers it on?
Who the fuck is saying this is about women in general?
That happens constantly. Is this a joke? The difference is only you see it in MAN VS WOMAN. Everyone else is like, yeah, everyone can be a piece of shit. In this meme, it’s a woman. It’s also a biped. It’s also a mammal. You are the one making the distinction mean something it doesn’t. Because YOU see people as Women VS Men. That’s on you. Nobody owes it to you to explain themselves when they want to express who they are and what they go through.
Man goes through bullshit with a woman- posts meme about it. That’s a valid experience, he’s not a victim, or are we trying to cast whoever tries to navigate this situation responsibly and maturely while not compromising his integrity as the bad guy? Victim blaming? You need to stop being so black and white about everything, you’re complaining about people being like you- divisive and dismissive against a group of people in general. Take the beam out of your own eye first, buddy.
The whole real men don’t play video games is also unhealthy nonsense constantly pushed by toxic members of our society
https://www.aol.com/articles/dating-coach-reveals-why-video-181930000.html
Honestly this is a contrived conversation, but I don’t think the guys answer is that far off of a healthy response. It is important to shutdown this type of behavior when it happens.
https://blog.couplestherapistla.com/ultimatums-dont-work-do-this-instead/
She would be much better off just saying, “When you ignore me or your chores by playing video games it makes me feel like you don’t care about the work it takes to maintain our home and relationship.”
Not everyone disagreeing with you or acting precisely the way you like is “toxic”.
what a awful shitty lady.
half the women on my dating app matches love golf. it’s incredibly popular right now. it’s the new climbing gym.
Without more context she could definitely be shitty or as the poster I responded to said, it could be a toxic response if he is actually ignoring his chores and the relationship by playing games.
I am probably making more out of it than it is though and overthinking things.
i’m talking about the ‘dating coach’ who is clearly an idiot.
Oh yes, I agree completely.
Lots of assumptions being made when it could just as easily be someone upset that he dares spend an hour or two on the weekends gaming with buddies
no, that’s your interpretation of it. which is mostly projection and your identification of the two people as being ‘good’ and ‘bad’.