• Gnome Kat@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    7 months ago

    Im also diagnosed ASD and now you are trying to use that to defend deadnaming, just stop. Disability doesn’t justify deadnaming people. If you can’t remember their name just google it like you would for anyone else who’s name you can’t remember. If you know they don’t use that name anymore and don’t like when people refer to them with it, even if you can’t remember what they prefer you shouldn’t use the old name. Just don’t use the old name, its dead… let it be dead. Dont use it. Its so simple, dont use that name if you know they don’t want people using that name.

    • Zoot@reddthat.com
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      6 months ago

      Generally when you can’t remember something, you don’t even know you’ve forgotten it. Do I think this is a lame excuse to ever deadname someone, sure! I am not defending this specific person, however as someone who suffers with similar issues, its infuriating to hear “Well if you cant remember, just Google it!”. Like, you need to understand they don’t realize they’ve even forgotten, and its will make you feel like shit to realize you’ve yet again forgotten something. (And may even feel gaslit if in some circumstances.)

      • Gnome Kat@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        6 months ago

        Stop trying to justify shitty behavior with disabilities, its wildly offensive and ableist. Disability doesn’t justify deadnaming. Just stop.

        This disability that hasn’t been in the DSM for over 10 years doesn’t mention anything about forgetting if someone transitioned. If you know the name is dead, don’t use it. For fucks sake its so simple.

        You wanna know what being gaslit feels like?? When the people around you keep making up shitty excuseses for why they can’t use your preferred name and make it out like you are the bad guy for asking them to use the correct one.