For context: One of the rules in that community is that you aren’t allowed to post anything related to suicide. In a mental health community.
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I guess we really are trying to recreate everything about reddit here.
Thanks for the gold kind stranger!
This
r/thirdsub
😂😂😂
Some traditions are worth preserving
I don’t know why, but this made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside
The familar taste of poison
If you’d told me the most upvoted comment on my profile would be about inserting my lebanese blind vegan hamster in my urethra while playing Country Roads on the kazoo with a sombrero, I wouldn’t have believed it!!!
Well we made Reddit in the first place. Spez just came along and decided to wreck it.
Oh my god, this place is full of…Redditors!
Next up on the list of bringing over shitty Reddit concepts:
Telling every single person to break up who needs relationship advice.
I know this is an unpopular opinion, but that’s because a good amount of the time it’s true…
Relationships are a lot of work, but shouldn’t be hard. If your relationship is getting so difficult that you feel the need to post your issues on the Internet to get advice from strangers, your relationship is more or less done and haven’t really noticed it yet.
If it’s a one off issue that you need some outside help to see another perspective, than breaking up is probably not the solution; however, if it’s habitual then yeah breaking up is probably for the best.
We tend to have loss aversion and get trapped in the sunken cost fallacy with relationships and can’t see that it needs to end.
That said, giving advice for a bad relationship is like seeing a person who has an addiction problem. That person needs to realize what it is, and no amount of advice can help.
I remember someone posting a asklemmy question about the “benefits of smoking” 🤦♂️
I feel bad for the person
Edit: I found the post, original post has been removed, but here’s my instance’s version that didn’t receive the deletion request: https://reddthat.com/post/822703
Benefits of smoking…well, it’s good for the environment, I suppose
It can keep Alzheimer’s at bay
I really don’t think so and I can say that from experience.
The reason I’ve posted about it before is because I can’t afford relationship counseling or even counseling for myself. And if I go to family, it’s hard for family to break away from that bias of defending you. So naturally you expect strangers to provide better advice.
That being said, yes I agree. If you’re looking for advice over stuff that is habitual, it probably warrants a breakup. My issue is that r/relationshipadvice is so fucking horrible that nearly every single post the consensus is to break up, even over minor issues. That part pisses me off. And I respectfully disagree. A lot of relationships ARE hard, and it really just depends on the dynamics. That doesn’t mean it has to consist of constant arguments and disagreements though.
yeah I have a feelong the breakup immediately meme was started by a bunch of butthurt incel/meninist/redpiller types who would do such a thing in a relationship and don’t like it.
Hey now this has nothing to do with gender. There’s plenty of women out there that jump straight to “just break up” at the first sign of a problem.
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But seriously, you have to! He’s testing the grounds. Get out now or submit!
Don’t you see all the red flags??? You should totally leave him.
That’s really not a Reddit exclusive thing. It’s more of an entire internet thing.
Are… are you okay?
Man, I don’t even know anymore… Covid, War in Ukraine, Climate change, Upcoming 2024 Election, feels like too much has been going on. 2024 could mean the end of everything. (I’m a non-white immigrant so I’ll be the first ones to be targeted if the election doesn’t go well).
Hey, dude, I feel I somewhat understand you, because I was the same, and am the same. But here’s something I learned a while ago that helped (obviously didn’t kill it). It’s by now a cliche and is totally commercialized, but hey, if it works.
Habit 1: Be Proactive: Focus and act on what you can control and influence instead of what you can’t.
There are a lot of things you can’t control/have causal effects in life. You will kill yourself worrying about them. Drop the bad news you can’t change. If you already know who you are going to vote for, just don’t read the political news. Do you parts for the climate change and forget the rest. etc.
Live long and prosper.
Problem: the best way to decrease your carbon footprint is to not consume anything at all, which is only possible if you aren’t alive.
70% of all pollution is created by maybe 100 companies. Your “carbon footprint” is just a corporate ploy to shift responsibilities and the focus of the discussion around climate change to that of the individual.
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Can’t really say it’s not that bad so I’ll just say that I hope that your tomorrow is slightly better than your today. Also there are a lot of people that value you as a human and want you in their community. Fascists are just louder (and more dangerous). Sending you love.
Damn… Yeah, it‘s rough. Life is never all butterflies and rainbows, but it‘s also easy to forget that there is also much potential for good things to happen as well: Indulging in new and old hobbies, the next night out with friends, some really good food, a weekend trip to somewhere interesting and so much more. It‘s important to shift perspective from time to time. Keeping a journal for what you‘re grateful for/happy about is one technique to iron out that negativity bias a bit. Note that this is not the be all and end all solution for keeping all depressing thoughts at bay. If it‘s still a problem, please seek professional help.
it‘s also easy to forget that there is also much potential for good things to happen as well: Indulging in new and old hobbies, the next night out with friends, some really good food, a weekend trip to somewhere interesting and so much more.
All of those things pale in comparison to the impending end of the world.
Hate to break it to you bud. The world isn’t ending. It’s going to still be here. Humanity is going to still be here. We’re going to survive the worst of it and continue going. It’ll get real hard but at no point are we looking at the end of the world or of humanity. The stuff that’ll be really bad won’t be any time soon. Probably not in your lifetime. You can go ahead and live your life and have fun.
The world isn’t ending.
As far as our civilization is concerned, it is. Global warming will cause desperate wars over rapidly dwindling resources like food and inhabitable land, and desperate people with a nuclear arsenal and nothing to lose will be intensely tempted to launch their nukes. Sooner or later, someone will, and then humanity as we know it will be gone. Only scattered groups of survivors and rich people in bunkers will remain after that.
It’ll get real hard
That’s quite an understatement…
The stuff that’ll be really bad won’t be any time soon. Probably not in your lifetime.
It was 115°F in Portland, Oregon a couple of years ago. That is an absurd, beyond-the-pale temperature for this part of the world. Global warming isn’t some distant threat for future generations to worry about; it’s here and now.
You can go ahead and live your life and have fun.
I’m already not having fun. Cost of living is skyrocketing. I’ll be lucky to still have a roof over my head in a few years. And that’s assuming global warming stops right now and doesn’t make the situation any worse, which is of course a blatantly unrealistic assumption.
No, they are just smaller in scope, as in they are more on a personal level. For me, I value that much more. And not to discredit the concern (we should be), but doomerism has never amounted to anything.
Take heart. America, like all developed nations, can’t live without immigrants to counteract its declining birth rate. If you live in fear that all immigrants will be expunged, you can relax.
Meanwhile women have already been targeted and shot at and hit because one of the last elections didn’t go well. Gay and trans people are being erased from places like a Florida and Texas right now.
Turn that anxiety into volunteer hours registering voters, or helping women access critical healthcare.
And yet I’d be good if my electric bill wasn’t $350
Mine was the same. It’s amazing how much it costs to keep a small house at a livable temperature when it’s blazing hot outside
House? HOUSE!!! I’m in a 1 bedroom apartment!!!
There must be something really wrong then, like no insulation at all, or improper grounding. $350/mo for one bedroom apartment electric bill is insane.
Last time I was in a studio apartment it was like $70/mo. In a 3 bedroom house I’m in right now it’s around $120-150/mo currently.
10.9 cents supply, 16.9 cents delivery. A very old air conditioner running constantly during a 2 week heat wave. Also I work from home.
Try to limit that kind of negative news to once a week. You’ll still be informed but things you can’t change won’t be so much at the center of your mind.
Idk if it helps but a friend of mine has similar problems with depression because of the world going to shit. (Even though here problems aren’t so severe). I once showed her the Solarpunk genre/Movement and it worked (at least a bit). It let a bit of sunlight and hope in her heart and she has fallen directly in love with it in the same way I did. So maybe it helps a bit looking into it and get a bit of a hope boost.
I spoke about suicide in the venting sub and got permabanned from all of reddit for “advocating violence” Yeah.
Re-write, please let me know if I misunderstood:
I spoke about suicide in the venting sub and got permabanned from all of reddit for “advocating violence”.
Exactly, it really shows that English is my second language haha
They’re identical, I’m confused.
I edited my comment, the original one made people suppose I was banned because I actually incited violence
As a general recommendation, don’t delete edited content,
cross it overso that people can see the original and follow the thought trail while also clearly pointing that you are changing the comment. You can do it like this%~~cross it over~~Not many people do, but I still think that it’s considerate for future readers.
Oh okay, thanks for explaining.
Original was edited for clarity maybe?
huh
I feel like this needs context.
The rule is probably in place so other people don‘t get triggered to contemplate suicide as well.
But there’s research to prove that’s not a thing. Copy-catting maybe, but you’ll never “give them the idea”. If they’re in that bad of a spot, they’re there already -source: suicide prevention trainer, but not mental health professional
Could you provide a source for that research? I swear I’m not being combative, just genuinely interested.
Not OP but here you go. I work with young people and have had suicide prevention training multiple times, this is a recurring mantra that not asking about it is much worse than asking.
Thanks a lot for posting the study.
Thanks. I wonder if this is limited to a therapeutic context and if the same is true for third party mentions of suicide. But I’ll look around for that by myself.
Not the original commenter, but I know it’s included in the yearly training for Army civilians and soldiers. We have to take suicide prevention training every year. I don’t think the training itself sources the info though. Also I don’t know if you can access the training without a CAC. In any case, they say that it is just a myth. You don’t have to tiptoe around the idea of suicide. It’s better to ask someone if they’re thinking about it if you’re truly worried that they are.
Also I don’t know if you can access the training without a CAC
Archive.org has a collection of titled “The Military Industrial PowerPoint Complex” that contains exactly what you’d think, a crapton of US Military PowerPoint files. I’m sure if you dig enough that specific training is out there, although in sure theres better places to find such infotmation too
Thank you!
For me, personally, it’s not because it triggers suicidal ideation - I agree with the research I’ve seen that suggests it’s not a thing, or at least not a statistically significant thing.
For me, the issue is that people who say they’re suicidal get attention and sympathy
For certain emotionally immature people, attention and sympathy is their #1 goal in life
In addition, teenagers want to both be cool and different, yet be accepted by everyone. You can’t NOT accept a suicidal person, because what if they suicide themselves? If you say you’re suicidal, suddenly everyone HAS to be nice to you.
All of this is to say that, no, all y’all dumb motherfuckers are not actually suicidal, you’re just fucking sad, edgy, and boring, and you need to quit it because you’re drowning out the actual struggling people.
Every damn day I see it “waaaaah I want to dieeeeeeee” no the fuck you don’t, you’re just trying to sound cool. Grow up.
Fair, but you have to REALLY know someone to pass that judgment and you can’t do that on internet comments
It’s much more dangerous not to ask about suicide than to ask about it. The myth you’re spreading is ridiculously dangerous and you should really stop. Just simply stating it as a matter of fact like you did is enough to keep perpetuating it. It’s harmful and you should stop. You should even modify the comment as people are upvoting it and clearly believe it.
Most suicidal people just want to flirt with the idea a bit, it’s better to allow them to go through that process openly so they can recover faster. For those who are serious, it’s not clear that forcing them to stick around is better either IMO.
Better out then in!
Back on reddit I was active in a psychology sub with a “no self help questions” rule. This was in place because the mods said we have no way of any kind of quality control relating the answers you might get. This is the internet, and some jerk will probably feel empowered giving harmful advice or straight up advocating pro suicide to be extra edgy. There was, however, an automod providing actual self help hotlines and websites from basically all around the world. While I tend to agree that Lemmy wouldn’t be my platform of choice when it comes to actual mortal danger (like in the case of severe suicidal ideation) I feel like we could benefit from something like that over here.
Pog
Very cringe of themIn a way it’s understandable, people who are drawn to this community might be quite vulnerable to mention of suicide. Then again, some of them may need a space to discuss their suicidal thoughts. There’s no easy answer to this problem. Blurr suicide related posts in feeds maybe? Not ideal still.
I agree, and while I’m not in a position to run a community myself, it would be really great to have spaces here like r/PsychotherapyLeftists and r/MutualSupport where there is a supportive community with an understanding of how oppression and the world becoming more dystopic every day impacts our mental health
Meanwhile, and I hate to link to reddit (plus the site crashes every time I open it) but these resources might be helpful:
https://www.reddit.com/r/PsychotherapyLeftists/comments/ix7zuh/how_do_i_find_a_leftist_therapist/
https://www.reddit.com/r/MutualSupport/comments/bw6mcu/very_important_resources_and_information_for/Wait, its a leftist view? I thought it was a fact
To add to the good point argv made, far too many therapists (and other healthcare professionals) on both sides of mainstream politics believe that it’s all down to personal responsibility and refuse to address the systemic issues we face for what they are - massively oppressive and entirely beyond our control.
It’s unfortunately what you get when the medical institution is as bias and even bigoted as the rest of society. :/
This is so true.
I had 2 therapies in my life but it never felt that helpfull. Yes, to give me a kind of stability and helped me to not felt into the dark. But i always felt under presure, when it comes to my asexuality (it’s just ‘trauma’). Or when i didn’t want to participate in ttrpg anymore cause the german geek community is sexist as fuq.
I always felt that i would go crazy and that my fears are not real. That hurted so much and had delayed my “healing” unnecessary. Only when i found a partner to speak openly and when i connected to people dealing with the same stuff, i realized, that i wasn’t alone.
I learned about adhd in women and how east germany had abused psychiatry (cause my stepdad was a refugee from there)… i’ve always believed in psychology, but right now my “believe” is shattered. How can people think, they know more than their patients? Know better how to treat them?
I am glad there are people seeing the same issues. That there is a name to it. It makes me feel more empowered. Thank you.
Fellow ace, and late diagnosed neurodivergent (autistic) woman here 👋
Funny how in a comment about finding your people you find your people hahaI’ve felt much of the same things you describe, never even got to the point where anyone recognised any trauma (and there is much), they just kept telling me it was my fault and to “just be normal”.
I no longer seek therapy because I had so many bad experiences, and I actually need it, but the process of finding someone that really “gets it” is impossible for me right now.
I think the best many of us can do is try to surround ourselves with likeminded people, who might not be trained, but can at least validate our feelings in that we aren’t “going crazy” - the world really is going to shit and there is exploitation and oppression everywhere, and our reaction is perfectly normal, and that if we do actually have a mental illness, are able to be supportive and loving and accepting of us, which is massively important in treating mental illness anyway (and what so so many people lack). And if not possible irl, then online is perfectly valid too.
It isn’t just you.
What a beatiful, beatiful coincidence! Hello, fellow ace! 😊
You are damn right! We need more diversity, more voices like ours. To shape the psychology-landscape and to help people find acceptance/validation. Most of all, we need to talk. Openly, kindly, caring.
In my country, every group of people is gossip about each other. Stereotypes, prejudice… it was always frustrating dealing with that. Not other people are destroing our way of life, but we are. With the hate we uphold.
The rising right wing movement is pretty scary. I am worried about the future of my country, the Internet itself. But the queer community will always find a way.
It really is!
And I completely agree, diversity is the most basic step we generally need to take in society to increase chances of equity and equality. In the disability world we say “nothing about us without us” and that should really apply to all marginalised groups!
If it helps at all we have the same kind of gossip and bigotry here in the UK, it’s really frustrating because to many people it’s just like their every day chit chat, they don’t care who can hear them, and that applies both in areal life and online, just no consideration or understanding that maybe words (and actions that aren’t directly seen as harmful) can in fact cause harm.
I also agree about the queer community, along with other marginalised groups, when we stick together we are more powerful, we can’t forget that!
I agree with you 😊
Even tho i studied history, it took long to find topics like disability history, gender studies, science studies and… everything PoC are doing. Established Professionals downplayed all of these as not relevant. Not scientific enough. As a young professionell, you don’t want to ruin your reputation, so you don’t engage with that.
In my country you are told, not to drift away from society. Not to built up your own ‘reality’, cause you read… a feministic book.
These gashlight tactics had keep me from enganging with topics and communitys, which are interessting for me. I did not want to be outcasted. But now i feel more confidend.
I want to dive into the neurodiverse community, cause it is such a new perspective in dealing with ones own life. Much more empowering! Much more brave. Learning to live with stuff like high sensitivity, instead of forcing myself to overcome it. It’s changing how i fre myself.
And yeah: how people talk to each all over the world has changed. To devide us is an easy way to controll us. 10 years ago you couldn’t say that out loud (ya soundes paranoid) but since the facebook papers it has become more much more clearer. It’s a tool to undermine democraty. And a lot of people are stepping in that trap.
The right wing’s entire ideology is “fuck you, I don’t care whether you live or die”, and they’re firmly in favor of the various forms of oppression that drive people to suicide in the first place, so yeah, taking mental health advice from a rightist isn’t the best idea.
Yes i know. My gouverment doesn’t feel responsibility for a group called ‘Heilpraktiker’, who tell you that stones can heal depression and that cancer is manifestated hearth break…
I just learned about all of that a few month ago and still feeling… shocked
Here in the UK the now king (🤮) has a long history being the patron of a homeopathy charity 🤦♀️
They actually do. “Heilpraktiker” (for reasons there is no perfect translation. Think non-doctors practicing alternative-medicine being endorsed in part by the german and as far as I know austrian government in those respective countries) are more or less supported by laws not banning them and actually granting them privileges. So no one can say that the german and austrian governments don’t care about “Heilpraktiker”. Some parts of them actively push this.
I want to strech out, what “Heilpraktiker” are. Not for you but cause i want to express how much i dislike them.
The Training programm doesn’t have much regulation. It’s just an exam and some courses to take. During this time you are told to “become creative” with the diagnosis. Only then you can see the biger picture.
Right now they are in the spotlight cause if “false memory” tactics. They tell new trainees, that they had expierence child abused (when they have not) and by that making them question their own reality. They made them leave their family, isolate them and make them depent to them.
And germans are like “but they seem more nicer than actual doctors so they have a Daseinsberechtigung” *screams into void"
Wild charlatan used gaslighting! It’s super effective!
Reality has a well-known liberal bias.
It’s honestly infuriating to realize half of the people running the country rely on the moral principles of ancient religious texts, translated multiple times, to make policy decisions, while also taking every opportunity to bash the scientific process. Not sure which ones are more frightening, the ones who actually believe what they’re say, or those who don’t.
Do you think that would actually improve anyone’s mental health? Seems like it would become an echo chamber of complaint where absolutely everything in the world, including running out of toilet paper, is a classist plot to take away your humanity.
Sometimes you need to go down more to learn the art of acceptance. Embrace that darkness.
“We’re always here for you”
Well, they’re not wrong, they just do they best to make the “always” part very short.
ADHD cover of “Always on my Mind”
“You are always on my m- man I’m hungry. Are there any potato chips in the cupboard?”
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I mean, Lemmy has the exact same potential for issues with admins and mods - the key difference being that if those issues happen you can just up and off to another instance without having to abandon Lemmy altogether.
More importantly, you could have an instance that’s specifically tailored to a purpose. Like a mental health non profit could create an instance with expert guidance and instance wide rules for mental health communities.
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OP said could for a reason.
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retarded moderators
Yeah let’s not pretend it’s just the mods.
a great start would be not using slurs <3
Hmm doesn’t the Lemmy backend software itself censor certain slurs automatically written by users? Not that people won’t find a way around it.
Expand (contains slurs)
I have declared the word “slur” to now be a slur. You are now not allowed to say s***. Otherwise I will be TRIGGERED.
Don’t be retarded.
The difference is that instances have self determination. On Reddit all subreddits have to operate under the umbrella of Reddit whether it’s good for them or not. Here communities can go to an instance they’re aligned with. For example there’s a very popular German instance that has all the topics in German for a German audience. In the case of mental health, the ideal situation is thata non profit with expert guidance could create their own instance with communities lead by people who actually know what they’re doing. On Reddit there’s only one sub that can have a name whereas on lemmy you could have a bunch of mental health communities under someinstitute.org or something.
Mods will be mods.
The moderators certainly were removed
There will always be a place here to announce you’re going to KYS. That’s the magic of federation! 🌈
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Start a new community on another instance. This is the power of the fediverse.
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I wouldn’t worry about that… There won’t be many posts and looking once per day is enough. :)
If you are a regular Lemmy user, it won’t take any special time to keep an eye on such a small community.
So you’re saying the workload won’t be much because the new community will never be successful?
Well that kind of makes sense. After everyone left reddit, people came here and we’re getting told to start communities left and right. I think the new mods need to learn how to do things in a more structured way.
For all it’s flaws, reddit has built a decent system for helping mods get started, even if a lot of the actual support is provided directly by other mods and not by reddit itself.
I like a good meme
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