never leave home without your lunchables

or your dinnerables, for that matter. not sure about breakfastables or second breakfastables though

so what was the job? if your boss had time to whip lunchmeat at moving vehicles… what was he paying you to do?

for some of us kids, it’s a bit easier to come by a slice of balogna than a pint of brake fluid. that said, I’ve known the many benefits of brake fluid since I was just a 12 year old dipshit in grade 7

YSK: I’ve known this since I was in middle school in 1987

dean cain is 60 now. I feel like that stupidass superman show he was in was just cancelled a few years ago. man, time sure flies when you’re clinically depressed

from another article, in which John Leguizamo and Margaret Cho rip on Cain:

Cain is also a longtime supporter of President Trump. “I love President Trump. I’ve been friends with him forever,” the actor told Variety last month. “Trump is actually one of the most empathetic, wonderful, generous people you’ll ever meet."

It’s official, this dude is a fucking moron and a sociopath

dude this thing has a flashlight? you son of a bitch, I’m in

oh no, the world will find out I’m 50. oh the shame, oh the horror.

She controls his agenda. She sometimes takes decisions on his behalf.

… what exactly does “takes decisions on his behalf” mean? I’ve never “taken” someone else’s decision, afaik… but I don’t really know what that’s supposed to mean, so whatever

the answers to all your questions lie in the article you didn’t read

oh I get it, it’s because it says “your anus” omfg lolol it never gets old, so goddamn hilarious lol wow insane comedy lol holy shit hahaha… oh crap, my mom’s gonna be home in a few minutes and I was supposed to change my own diapers today… gotta go but I’m looking forward to the next middle-school comedy post

Depression replaced with horror?

I’ll take it.

isn’t this something everybody knows already? it’s been common knowledge since like, forever. even if you’re a middle school dropout, live in willful ignorance and never pick up a book or periodical, you’ll still accidentally learn this fact from TV and movies

Let’s see if this link works. It’s just as fast-paced and exciting as a peewee soccer tournament

Actually, they should’ve pitted the robots against little kids. That would’ve been hilarious.

I sure would like to read this article, it seems fascinating, but it’s paywalled.

it’s inspiring that in the states you can be a convicted felon, and/or just a totally unqualified moron with no experience in any sort of political office (see: POTUS) and get a high profile position in the federal government. america truly is the land of opportunity

… I think I agree with your sentiment? honestly it’s hard to tell because everything you just said is delivered in this ultra-cringe meme language. I guess this is so the average middle schooler can understand what you’re saying? or is this how robots think humans communicate, so when they want to pretend they’re an “average human internet user”, they talk in this ridiculous idiotic meme codec? idk, whatever, it’s peak cringe, but ok cool comment

I’ve been meaning to check out this “nature” thing, or whatever it’s called. It’s basically like, just lakes and woods and the sky and all kinda weird shit like that. Supposed to be pretty cool I guess, idk

I’ve been ad-free youtubing since it came out in '06 or whenever that was. It’s a shame that they disabled uBlock on Chrome, I used to really enjoy my chromebook before it became spam cancer

this is usually when I would say something conceited like “lol glad I don’t live in the US” but then I realise that I’m just as fucked as the rest of the world and we don’t have a future

hopefully microplastics will invade my colon/heart/kidneys/liver/brain soon and remove me from this living nightmare, I can’t deal with this shit anymore