How to draw a pig

The “doppelganger problem” is really why this is not an easy issue to answer. If someone gets exclusive rights to a specific face, who is to say another person naturally having a similar face isn’t being wronged? How close is too close?

At what point is Natalie Portman allowed to sue Keira Knightley?

See also: Rodin bronzes.

Call me crazy, but I don’t think the president should have the ability to fire all of these supposedly apolitical positions. The president should be walled off from those kind of decisions specifically to prevent the office from being able to hand out positions based on political loyalty and bribes. But maybe I’m just a kooky go nuts crazy guy.

But it comes with a free frogurt!

I’m going to be honest, Candles of Vienna sounds like a fascinating premise.

I heard a story of someone who was at a gun show and some geniuses thought it would be a good idea to try and grab a bunch of rifles and just run for the doors, and of course about a dozen people drew down on them.

But then, that’s like, proliferated guns at a gun proliferation party preventing guns from being proliferated by a tiny degree more than they would have otherwise, so… that kind of feels like a net neutral, overall.

One gets the impression that men’s adventure magazines were really stretching to find new and interesting animals to menace the adventurers on their covers.

My story’s infinite. Like the laundry, it’s infinite, it doesn’t rest.

And they scoop lard instead of vanilla ice cream

Prostitution? Gambling.

Exotic dancing? Fraud.

Dealing street drugs? Gambling.

Marketing pharmaceuticals? Fraud.

Your stomach thinks all meals are smoothies.

Your tongue always knows what it would feel like to lick any surface you can see in person.

There’s no meaningful difference between eating a pound of crab meat and eating a pound of crickets.

I had garlic ice cream once. It wasn’t horrible, and I’m glad I can say I’ve had it, but I wouldn’t order an entire sundae.

And cliffs! Sheer cliffs seem to be much less geologically common than my childhood led me to believe.

Don’t worry, any stuff that doesn’t fit into the universe probably doesn’t matter.

See also: Sears pioneering the concept of ordering things through the mail from a catalogue, and then getting demolished by Amazon’s online ordering system. Way to go guys, you got destroyed by some upstart punk doing what you got started doing, but doing it better and cheaper than you could.

Is email / emails like fish / fishes or grass / grasses?

My favorite formulation is:

The bar was so low it was practically a tripping hazard in Hell, yet here you are, limbo dancing with the devil.