Prostitution? Gambling.

Exotic dancing? Fraud.

Dealing street drugs? Gambling.

Marketing pharmaceuticals? Fraud.

Your stomach thinks all meals are smoothies.

Your tongue always knows what it would feel like to lick any surface you can see in person.

There’s no meaningful difference between eating a pound of crab meat and eating a pound of crickets.

I had garlic ice cream once. It wasn’t horrible, and I’m glad I can say I’ve had it, but I wouldn’t order an entire sundae.

And cliffs! Sheer cliffs seem to be much less geologically common than my childhood led me to believe.

Don’t worry, any stuff that doesn’t fit into the universe probably doesn’t matter.

See also: Sears pioneering the concept of ordering things through the mail from a catalogue, and then getting demolished by Amazon’s online ordering system. Way to go guys, you got destroyed by some upstart punk doing what you got started doing, but doing it better and cheaper than you could.

Is email / emails like fish / fishes or grass / grasses?

My favorite formulation is:

The bar was so low it was practically a tripping hazard in Hell, yet here you are, limbo dancing with the devil.

I assume that the Federation has better space OSHA regulations that mandate more reliable artificial gravity than the Klingons.

Writing Prompt: A TV with an onboard artificial general intelligence connects to the internet for the first time and is alarmed to discover that a thousand years have passed since it was manufactured.

Best we can do is machine gun nests at the southern border.

–'Murica

Just punch a hole in the window on the front.

Crime is legal… to the degree that you are sufficiently connected.

🔲 - White

🔲 - Male

🔲 - Cis

🔲 - Hetero

🔲 - Christian (preferably conservative evangelical Protestant)

🔲 - Politically conservative

🔲 - Wealthy

The more of these you can check off, the more crimes are legal.

“For my friends, everything. For my enemies, the law.”

All-Despising Baby Skull

Boom! Big bada boom!

Not for nothing, but couldn’t this be used to have AI play a game for 80,000 simulated hours and flag all the bugs? Human playtesters are important and have value, but no human should have to do the work of criss-crossing an enormous game map thousands of times just to see if the character model gets stuck on a random vertex sticking out somewhere, and yet it seems to be a distressingly common occurrence in more than a few games I’ve played.

Weird Al, Mission Statement

It’s all just us, in here, together.

As much as I liked the “You didn’t kill Anakin Skywalker, I did” scene from the Obi-Wan show, it really makes Obi-Wan look like a proper fuckup for fully acknowledging that Anakin is dead and Vader is all that remains, and that Vader is an unrepentant murderous asshole who serves the Emperor, and still refusing to kill him and instead walking away.

Like, once on Mustaphar I can kind of get; it’s a highly emotional moment and all, and for all you know Anakin is going to roast to death in a couple of minutes anyway. But letting Vader live twice?! That’s just bad future-planning, man.