“Curse Pierre Jules Cesar Janssen!“
Oh man, when French Jesus turns water into wine, you know it’s good…
Rare texts are kinda my jam, a few highlights in my collection:
A signed first edition of the Necronomicon (it still screams and bleeds)
An early draft of the 10 commandments (before it got narrowed down to just 10)
The treatise between cats and dogs that lead to cats getting litter boxes and dogs getting walks
Nah, it would never happen.
We would end up with comprehensive gun control reform before we ran out of our precious billionaires.
Maybe it’s points of contact?
Two feet for the urinal.
Two feet and a seat for the toilet?
Don’t you dare give consumers what they want.
I need AI summaries a lot less than I would prefer a smart mail filter to actually remove all the spam email and texts.
Did some fuckin’ Aussie heart surgeon just breeze into a Home Depot and saunter into the plumbing aisle in his board shorts and flips flops and just whip together a heart out of brass fittings and teflon tape???
“Oi! DANNY, YA FUCKIN’ BOGAN! I DONE DID YA UP A NEW RICKY TICKEY—ALL FUCKIN’ SHINEY AND CHROME!!! GRAB A CARPET KNIFE AND SOME DUNNY GLOVES—WE’ll GET THIS FUCKER INTO YOUR BLUDGER CHEST BEFORE YA SHEILA SAYS YA WERE CHUCKING A SICKIE!”
It is an alternative wellness sensory toy using an internal chakra crystal to stimulate a very specific body region—ostensibly for the purpose of massage. While it is primarily ornamental in nature and not typically put to practical use as massaging alternative wellness sensory toy, tradesmen have utilized these as specialty abrasive drill bits when curling their hair or pinning their shawls in very specific ways
🔗 No intelligence, artificial or otherwise, was used for this comment
It’s the Harbor Freight poop knife.
What’s the scale? Could be a carrying case for the Earth and Moon for all I know…
Turn that thing to 11, the roof will be on fire!!!
These are a special set of news reporter microphones which are only used to interview urologists.
Your next existential breakdown has been sponsored by MadLibs…
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I thought the idea of anybody nominating Trump for a Nobel Peace Prize stretched beyond the confines of plausible reality, but then I discovered the Nobel Peace Prize recipient of 1973.