Now you tell me.

Dad, trying to find jokes to bring light into his miserable liveR.

Blaming “craziness” and “Trump” is wrong. Every single fascist has agency. Every single fascist is responsible for themselves.

No fucking excuses.

Uhh … kidnapping, false imprisonment, maybe torture?

And 9 To 5 is a famous - and most definitely creepy and inappropriate now - movie that Dolly Parton was in.

True and irrelevant.

“Extremely unlikely” != “never”

The_Picard_Maneuver

PugJesus

That’s what you get for interacting with a Carribean Nazi Penis.

It means people can hear you, even if they’re mischaracterizing you.

You have a microphone.

ThePicardManuever

At least you got mentioned.

I am a dirt person, but I’m sure I’m not the dirt person.

What about when you’re a dad, taking your young son into a public restroom, and have to place yourself between the urinals because of the creepy dude who’s come in and used the very next urinal and is trying to get a look? All men, all in the men’s room.

How about the men and women who go into restrooms at retail stores and smear their shit all over everything? (This happens way more often than you might think.)

And I got news for you weirdos: if you think that a gender sign on the door is going to stop anyone whose aim it is to go into a public restroom for sexual jollies, you’re fucking wrong.

None of that has anything to do with transgender people.

I am.

… the probability of the monkeys replicating even a single page of Shakespeare is unfathomably small.

But not zero.

It could happen the very first time a monkey sat down at a typewriter. It’s just very unlikely.

Once again, I’ll wait here patiently while literally nobody shows up here to rail against Trump for supporting genocide.

That’s some serious scope creep there by TSA. I’m quite sure that airlines’ business continuity is wholly unrelated to transportation security.

Leopards have been eating faces for a long time.

Exactly.