Wasn’t he the children’s author who published the book about a talking animals learning the value of hard work or something?

Lucky you. Finding work for me (I am autistic) has been the greatest challenge of my life.

I remember being 22… yeah… no… just… ugh… no!

Beat me to it.

Well I do have friends, and yes they are pretty solid. Not many, but I guess maybe I already have that handled? I guess I misworded my statement there.

However they aren’t the type of friends you meet girls through. Like I said, I am autistic and all my friends are neurodivergent in some way. One of them was married, had kids, divorced, got engaged, broke up, and is currently single, the other hasn’t had a girlfriend for a long time, but he does have his own fairly active social life and is very active in the autism community… and I am actually kinda surprised he doesn’t have a girlfriend since he does associate with a lot of people with cool artistic lifestyles (and he himself is fairly artistic). I know a few other people, even if I don’t see them regularly, I am in contact with them.

So finding a girl will have to be a solitary activity like everything else I do. Not that that is a bad thing, and I am sure there are plenty of introverted girls who would be fine with everything. I am not looking for some party gal, I am not compatible with them. Also I am not looking for one-night stands. As much as I said in the past that I wonder what it would be like to bone new girls regularly, I seriously doubt it would be satisfying in both the short-term and long-term.

I should mention that… yes, I did go to gang-bangs and orgies. Most of my sex partners were through there, and I did get compliments from the girls many times (legit ones). However that is when I realized that impersonal sex is not something I want to do. Not to say I wouldn’t go to one of those again, but the groups that organized them appear to be defunct now.

BTW, those groups are the way I learned I had a big dick. When I was with my first ‘girlfriend’ (and she is one reason why I still have many sexual hang ups. The story of my first sexual experience ever is… not pleasant. Like even many PUAs who had sex with a parade of partners said they would have given up women and sex if they had an experience like that) the condom seemed to break a lot. I didn’t ejaculate, not even precum, so no pregnancy risk… but I didn’t understand it.

Turns out? Well, I needed magnum condoms. Magnum XL condoms are more comfortable. I know this is a TMI situation, but I am not doing it as a brag or anything, but this was a practical concern. I would not have sex without a condom, and I have never wanted children, so the condoms stay on for obvious reasons…

But my experience with that girl will mean that going forward, even if I might be getting sexual with a girl, I need to make sure that we are compatible to be with one another for a while first, otherwise I am not proceeding.

I will say that if you have never used a girlfriend as an emotional dumpster, then you probably will soon. It’s kind of just an inevitable part of the process of becoming a more dateable man.

Maybe I misworded that statement of mine, too. If you mean not opening up about stuff previously, then… well no, we all gotta know about one another’s pasts. My last girl frequently talked to me about her past (but me being 33 and her being 19 at the time kinda meant she was talking about her very recent childhood, which felt weird at first, but I realize that that is all she knew at that time), and I did mention my stuff. Her insight into it really did help me rethink a lot of stuff, which is why having a girlfriend is an important part of getting better, and not just ‘get better and get the girl’ it is ‘get better and gets girls while you are doing it, because they are part of the process’.

In terms of meeting people and stuff, this is one problem: I kinda had to ditch many old ‘friends’ because they weren’t really friends. I barely knew them and the one girl I did date did ask me why I was hanging out with those people when they clearly didn’t give a fuck about me. What happened at that time is that I did some drinking prior to going to that event with them, and while it was far from my first time drinking, the alcohol hit me really hard for some reason and I wasn’t looking and feeling good. Despite being visibly unwell, no one asked me if I was doing OK or even had any visible reaction to me. This did not sit well with her at all.

And yes, that ‘circle’ of mine was very offputting for her and she did mention to me that I didn’t seem to have any friends. The thing is… I wasn’t really aware of it at that time. Like I said, I had one HELL of an abusive upbringing that I wasn’t even aware of just how abusive it was until well after the time it was gone.

This isn’t to say I cannot build a social circle or a better life. I think I absolutely can. But here’s the thing: I have a lifetime of doing things solo and I am quite comfortable with that. Also I do have a lot of support at my job. I work at a place specifically made for people with disabilities to accommodate them. I had really hard times making friends in the past and I didn’t really know what being friends was with people. I got taken advantage of too much by some individuals and that really got me wary of a lot of shit.

I am trying to rebuild my life, and part of it has to involve (early on… as early as possible actually) to get a girlfriend. I always keep a small circle of friends when I do have them and I would rather keep it that way. I am picky about that for a reason. I want to convey that, no I will not be using her as an emotional dumping ground. That’s just not style. It never was.

So many things to unpack here. (but to say it, yes please send me that guide for tinder. I am curious)

Firstly in terms of Night game/cold approach. I am not doing it anymore. This is what I have done for years and I had no success. The sheer amount of bad experiences and 100% lack of success is not going to bode well for me there. Also I am in my 40s now. I was even too old for many nightclubs (who often have people barely out of high school in Canada, since the drinking age is 18) when I came to Canada at 23. They are simply too loud and I am not doing it.

Also the city where I live in is not good for cold approach. It just isn’t. I have no other way to put it. I did have some people who told me that walking up to completely strangers in cafes and bars will never be confident, because only the loneliest and most desperate of people do that regardless of how they hold themselves and present themselves. I don’t fully agree, but like I said… when I was doing this, I spent more than a full year of doing that on a regular basis and I had precisely zero dates and no calls/txts returned. This isn’t going to work. I am not being dramatic, I am being very pragmatic.

I never had any issue walking up to strangers and talking to them. That was never my problem to begin with. This is why I am VERY hesitant to take a lot of PUA stuff seriously anymore. For example, many PUAs, including the ‘originals’ such as Mystery, projected their own issues as if they were universal. Like approach anxiety is a thing… it does happen… but it is not universal. I have no approach anxiety, I never did (I actually gained some just because I read about it for a while though!) but Mystery? He has a tick where he really does feel that he cannot talk to a girl if he waits for longer than 3 seconds upon spotting her. That isn’t universal, that’s just him.

As for social circle? I really don’t have one. I never did. I am extremely solitary individual and I kinda like it that way. I’m sorry about that, but the few people I do know are far, far more autistic than I am (if a hot chick met them, she’d probably run like crazy away!), and even then, I don’t see them as often as I used to. My solitary nature is in far more due to the experiences I had growing up in Dubai where I was very isolated due to a variety of factors beyond my control. When I came to Canada I had a lot of traumatic experiences while I was in university that caused me to recede back into solitude in order to try to heal. By the time I felt like I could go out I had already graduated and some anxiety issues related to phobias started to flare up that made it impossible for me to be able to socialize properly or correctly. Again, I am a MASSIVE introvert. If I am going to build a new social circle, I need to be extremely picky who I hang out with. This is because the last time I did it the people I was with were such losers that I really don’t want to waste any more time on anyone who isn’t up to snuff. This isn’t arrogance, this is me looking out for myself. I will not force myself to stay in a place where I don’t feel like I am benefiting from, or putting in a lot more than I am receiving.

You said that tinder was a few months effort that was built on 15 years of lifestyle? I’m sorry to say, but I need to fake that lifestyle since I really don’t have 15 years to build up to it. Like I said, getting laid/into a relationship cannot be THAT hard. There are people who are broke, have criminal records, and are ugly, and yet still have a partner. I am none of those things, but I also really cannot make that many massive changes to my life. I am heading back to the gym and working out a lot, but that is also taking up a lot of time, and I do need some ‘me’ time. I am planning on going out on hiking/walking trips and yoga and other stuff from meetup.com, and there are a TON of groups there so much that I would be stupid to waste any time on going out to loud nightclubs filled with drunk loud idiots. Also like I said, I am 41. While meeting younger girls is something I would be open to, clubs are NOT the way to do it. This is double in the fact that I will be going alone. Going alone to a nightclub is already a red flag at any age. Even if I woke up the next morning and I was 20 again, the fact that I don’t have a group to be with will not make me look good in a club.

(or maybe I am mishearing you. If you are saying you got healthier and more confident than I am mostly on point. Like I said, I am losing the COVID weight right now. It’ll take a few months, and maybe even until the end of the year, but it is going to happen. For clothes? Yeah I can get better stuff, but I need guides on how to dress up properly and take good pictures, since those are the critical factors. Also my previous experiences and what I learned were critical in abandoning a lot of toxicity that was around me at the time.)

And the introversion is why SC was never an option for me. Like I said, I am immigrant to the country I came into, and even though I tried to build a social circle, other factors and my (then) undiagnosed anxiety disorder and autism only left me quite cold with a lot of people. Just having no approach anxiety is not an antidote to it. I need to meet people cold, yes, but I cannot waste any time. Walking up to people in the street, in a club, in a library, or whatever is not going to work, or not going to work quickly enough for me. Going to a brunch or any group that is SPECIFICALLY for people to talk to one another and possibly hit it off or socialize further afterward is the only way I am willing to go for right now. I met that girlfriend of mine that way. I don’t know if it’ll be as quick as that time, but it is much better than going to a dance class that is 90% male and the only girl there is already married.

I will read inner game of Tennis and I am already looking at Models. I actually did download that book (or not?) and it appears to be the 2011/2013 version, so the post-PUA stuff? It is looking good so far, but I need real professional help (hence why I am going to a sex therapist) and I will not waste my time on PUA crap. I want to actually get my life together in terms of dating. I know I am a solitary individual, but I will be held back by it or accept that it will be the death of any sex life. That is bullshit.

But because their product is illegal, they are always going to be mixed in with seedy crooks. So try to think of “PUA” stuff as more of an ecosystem than a monolith. There are some people giving really terrible advice. Some people who have some good tips mixed in with their toxic bullshit. And a few people, often hidden, who have a lot of really good, solid advice that can help you.

That is the problem. At the time I started in it, I had no fucking idea what was what, and the toxicity of both the material AND the people I met in it (like I said, I was cyberbullied and cyberstalked by them for YEARS). I know that I am far from the only guy who had issues with dating, but I still feel like my situation was far worse than other people. Like I haven’t heard of anyone getting that much opposition to dating than I have, from either family or other people in pick up, who frequently just insulted me and did everything they could to break me down and waste my time.

Thanks. I did hear about some of those books, but I am VERY wary of a lot of things that have a PUA feel to them, since the PUA stuff has been the biggest problem to me in my social development (as I noted) and I am very hesitant to return to any such material as long as I know they might carry that label. I did read The Charisma Myth (and I need too look at it back again), but I will look them up. Models kinda has that trigger to me right now. But it could be that I am confusing it for something else since I did hear it.

you did mention Inner Game of Tennis, but I assume that you are the one who replaced ‘flirting’ with it, and it can work. I am not a 100% beginner, and like I said, there’s been some very strange things happening to me lately, and they’re kinda on the good side… but I can’t be sure yet. Seeing your results in finding sex on tinder is encouraging, but my experience with Tinder has been very discouraging. I went on Tinder from May to November 2015 and I only got one date, one other girl to date, and after I turned 32 in October, despite expanding my demographic to include everyone from 18 to 35, I got ZERO matches despite hundreds of swipes. It was almost like I had expired after 32. But seeing you get what you wanted after just a few months was good… but for me, due to a plethora of other factors (I was stalked and cyberbullied by many PUAs online and they even harassed my family for months. One guy was actively trying to get on my facebook page for 4 YEARS after the fact) due to my panic factor probably being far, far, far higher than others and my sheer insecurity at being an early something wanting a younger girlfriend. I hope that this time it doesn’t take me 18 months to find a girlfriend or go on dates. I was mostly doing ‘day game’ and ‘night game’ which was never the thing for me and the absolute worst crap I ever did. Also I had a tremendous amount of stress at my old job when my emotional state became apparent and they just tried to fire me immediately when I mentioned I was having dating issues and my whole issues with sex. People didn’t talk much about sex at the job, but when they did they mentioned dicer stuff than that… but apparently I struck a nerve and everyone thought I was a predator and needed to be gotten rid of immediately. They spent nearly 3 years trying to firing me and the stress from all that was physically killing me like cancer.

Fun fact: It was only when the stress got so bad that upon my Union representive’s recommendation that I go on a sick leave was when I was finally relaxed enough and… yeah, that’s when the one girl I met said yes and we went dating. She was 19 and I was 33, but you’d think I would be the more mature one but… nope. She was in full control of absolutely everything. In fact she was kinda surprised how I managed to reach my age and maintain a positive disposition towards people after a lifetime of suffering from incredible abuse, as she would have expected me to be an intensely closed-off person if I was ‘normal’ under the circumstances. I wanna make it clear that this girl did more for me in the few months we dated than anyone else in my life did in decades, and I will never forget her and I will never say that I don’t feel anything towards her anymore, because she is that good. This is considering when I was 25 I lost my virginity to a 31 year old… virgin girl, and that experience was one of the most shattering and destructive experiences I had in my life. Even one of the PUAs I spoke to (the type of guy who I legit believed really did bang over a 100 girls before the age of 24) said that if he had an experience like that now, he would give up on women and becoming a monk. That experience is also one reason why I am kinda hesitant to date someone older than me even though it was probably that she was a one-off and not all girls older than me are like that.

I am mildly apprehensive about online stuff, but at the same time I do want to try. While before I was focused principally on younger girls, and while I am going to be expanding my horizons and putting my age range from 25-45, I don’t want to be left out by any group. I had a lot of problems in my life and I felt robbed and left out of so much time for a million reasons that I just feel like any group that puts in an age limit is a personal affront to me, even if it isn’t that.

My current job is also highly supportive and I am going to get my sex therapist through it. I don’t talk about dating on the job, but I have a feeling that if I did bring up the topic to my boss, he would be OK with it. So I know I won’t be under ANY stress from my job, and that stress along with other stuff in my life previously is what was the biggest hinderance in finding a date/girlfriend.

He should suck your dick while you are taking a shit…

Right below it the part one of two should appear.

I wrote a big-ass comment just above, I’d appreciate it if you gave it a little look.

(Part 2 of 2)

but holy SHIT did he make me look bad. I need to mention that everything he said was a lie. and I even pointed out to him then and there that going to that group was his idea, not mine, and I pointed out to him that everyone around him who was in a relationship did not do anything remotely close to what he was saying.

Then he admitted to me that A: He never had a girlfriend, B: Never dated, C: had no idea how people actually met, and D: Was possibly a virgin. In short, I was extensively more experienced than he was, despite being from overseas.

I could go on forever, but I will stop here (gotta save it for my therapist). You actually did offer some real advice, and I did go out on some brunches on meetup.com and I am much calmer than I was before, and the girls there did talk to me far more than they did previously. Doesn’t mean I am going to getting laid left and right, but it is a much better start, and I actually have far more support from my job and the few family and friends that I have contact with, I had to cut out so many people from my life it isn’t funny.

(part 1 of 2) I need to save what I am writing here (since Lemmy is going to go down soon, sadly) and I need to save this for my autobiography for my therapist.

I am going to just write it right now. The person I was referring to was my brother. I recently 100% cut off my brother from my life and I will no longer speak to him. This isn’t something I have done on impulse, but it was more than 20 years coming. I simply had enough of his bullying, his twisting of everything I say, his accusations about me to my face, and countless other crap that I really, REALLY don’t want to get into. I even went so far as to tell both my parents that ‘This man is your son, but he is not my brother.’ He has always given me sabotaging advice and just stressed me out every single time we spoke, to the point where I would just lose it (again, almost every time) when talking to him and he is wholly and completely unaware and simultaneously does not care what an effect his words have on my emotional and mental state. I’ve been bled my heart out for over 15 years trying to show him how to communicate with me and how he is making me feel, but it is always ‘ummm, OK?’ and then he immediately returns to his old ways.

Like when I was trying to go out and meet people close to ten years ago, every single call from his was such a massive emotional drain that I could not longer socialize with people without getting them to be weirded out and straight up clam up when talking to me. One issue I had is simply getting girls (and I am referring to everyone, from 18 to 60) to just talk to me. The advise that he and others gave (and there are others) was ‘you have two ears and one mouth, listen twice as much as you speak’. This is all well and good… but if the girls are consistently clamming up and outright refusing to speak, it is kinda difficult to listen to pure silence. There are a lot of nasty people out there and constantly being rendered in a poor emotional state does not make it easier.

One other thing about him (and others, including relatives that I also had to cut out of my life) is the sheer contrarian nature of every discussion we have. I want girls, but they said ‘you gotta fix yourself up 100% first before going out’ or ‘you should ignore them and focus on (insert thing here) the girls will come by themselves and/or a waste of time’. None of this addresses that every single person saying it to me has NEVER practiced what they preached. They are always doing multiple things at the same time and going out and meeting people while doing this or that. The only take away is ‘fuck you, buddy, you don’t deserve anything. Just work for table scraps and maybe if you’re lucky a prostitute will fuck you for double price’.

I mean I mentioned my life in Dubai in brief. I need to also mention just how incredibly bizarre my life was there. I wrote over 12,000 words just detailing my first job in Dubai when I was growing up. If I had to describe all I remember we’d be going into novel length territory. On top of that, my brother (and other siblings) all went to college as young as 16 and did so overseas, away from home and my parents, meaning they got a taste of independence and the ability to explore and formulate their own independent lives very young. For me? My brother hinted that he had had fairly extensive sexual experiences well before the age of 20, and he had effectively done it all way before he was 23. But for me? I didn’t even leave home until I was 23, and I didn’t get my own place to finally stay in until I was 26 (going on 27). On top of that living with my parents was a choking experience. I can’t describe just how controlling they were on every single aspect of my life they had. They also simply did not understand even why I wanted to do things on my own, and I am not referring to major events, I am referring to really minor stuff like buying my own clothes without my mom effectively being the one to control what I wear and what I try on.

You might say ‘but dude! You’re a grown ass man! How the fuck did your mother just utterly ignore your expressions that you just want to buy your own shoes?’ Simply, they A: Straight up ignored it, saying ‘yes of course you can’ and then not, or saying ‘yes, of course you can, you are in charge, I am just there to offer you feedback’ when it is patently not true. Also she did not understand that her simple presence in following me around was highly distracting and disconcerting when I was trying to do basic things.

Even more on basic stuff. When I started working in Dubai, there were dress codes at the job that I had to adhere to. Now I am an autistic person and I grew up with schools that all demanded uniforms, so this was not a difficult thing for me to do… but for her? Every time I had to dress up it was a fight. The rules could not be more clear: You wear a shirt AND a tie to work. But she insisted that ‘your brother in Texas, they don’t wear ties there. in fact, they wear T-shirts and jeans. That looks better on you, and you are a young man, so dress like a young man!’ and she would actively fight every single step of the way until I just gave up and wore something entirely contrary to what the rules demanded. It was only when I was threatened to be fired by the manager who sent me back home that she finally let go of that… but only that one time. Every single interview it was the same fucking thing. She would insist on dressing me up like I was a toddler, and always with the same ‘In America they don’t…’ and no amount of calm and rational ‘but we are in Dubai, it isn’t the same here!’ ever got to her.

Can you imagine being someone in your early 20s and literally having to throw temper tantrums in order to just wear work-appropriate clothes every single time? With nothing carrying over to the next incident? Meaning you have to repeat the whole thing like a tired rerun every time. I have an anxiety disorder and this means when I get anxious or worked up, I REALLY get worked up, and it can hours or even a whole day for my adrenaline levels to come back down. This means that I can no longer maintain a calm demeanour when going to a job interview or to work, and this is absolutely noticeable. And as you can tell, the employer doesn’t give a fuck, no one is going to respect someone whose mother has THAT much control over them when they are at that age.

You mentioned having a positive mindset, good mental health, and a strong support system. I had none at the time. Getting a positive mindset is very difficult when everyone around is always against you and on the side everyone telling you off, and it does nothing for your mental health, and I had an oppositional system. It was actually a miracle how I managed to do what I have done in my life with all that bullshit going around me. Again, I am not expecting girls to say ‘hmm, let me cut this guy some slack and fuck him’ that’s not how it works, nor would I want girls to give me pity lays or other such stuff.

And being honest about intentions is good… but you need to know how to properly be honest about your intentions in order for them to come off properly. Like when I came to Canada, I wanted to date girls a little younger than me (I was 24, so around 19-21), but even at my tender young age people saw that as extensively creepy, almost in the exact same that someone in their 50s targeting girls that young is seen as creepy. The thing is those very same people, and I have seen them, think nothing of the numerous people they know that DO have large age gaps in relationships with 10, 15, or even 20 year differences, but they did have an issue with me saying I wanted a younger girlfriend.

So you might think ‘maybe it is because you want to make that specific thing happen while for the others it just fell into place?’ I need to say something: I’ve seen how many of those others guys work. It rarely ‘just falls into place’, there is some effort that goes into it even if they aren’t conscious of it. Secondly, the reason why I wanted a younger girlfriend is not just because I wanted a younger girlfriend, I wanted a younger social circle. Period. The reason for this is due to the isolation I had and extensive controls, I wanted to have the experiences that I wanted to have at a much younger age with people of that age. I’ve also been accused of having a mid-life crisis. This isn’t the case. If that was the case it would be my 5th mid-life crisis so far, that’s not how they work.

Of course a lot of the stuff I did backfired badly. The younger crowd I did hang out with when I was in my early 30s (and I quickly moved away from) were principally a bunch of stoners, idiots, pathological liars, and directionless drifters. There was one stoner guy (who is one of the ‘them’ who gave me terrible advice) who said he would help me get laid and find a girlfriend and said he would be my wingman… only for him to do a 180 in the three outings we did together, make a completely fool out of me (not intentionally, he was just that inept and stupid) and even paint all my good characteristics as being douchey.

Like those people had gaming nights on weekends… and I made them some really, really fancy pizza. I pride myself on being a very accomplished cook. The pizza I made used a slow-rise New York style pizza dough that needs 3 day cold-rise and I made some sauce that has to be tasted to be believed. Despite this, when he belatedly ‘introduced’ to me a group organizer of a BDSM group (yes, it was his idea) he just spoke ‘this guy is freaking out all the time and thinks he can just walk up to a girl and get a date. I tried telling him, you need to spend a few months at least in a group and make friends with all her friends before you even talk to her, but he keeps talking about PUA and stuff… but he made a nice pizza it was OK I guess’ I am paraphrasing…

Just saying ‘go online’ and nothing else for starters. I ‘went online’ in the mid-2000s and found nothing but PUA and early manosphere crap that was utterly stupid and did far more damage to me socially in the long term that I didn’t even begin to fix until more than 13 years after the fact. It didn’t bring any positive results either. But due to my circumstances I just really didn’t know any better.

Also when I did ‘go online’ or ‘to bars’ and I described some highly weird experiences that I knew weren’t normal they would twist the events so badly that it makes me wonder if they were the autistic ones and not me.

For example when I was 22 years old, I went to a bar and started talking to this woman. She was older than me and kinda vague, lied to me about her name, lied about her martial status (before taking everything back, but never telling me her real name). This was in Dubai I might add, so the social dynamic is a very different place than it would be in north america… and would also really come back to bite me later. The only shit I had to go by was offering her a drink at the start…

But here is a kicker… no one ever bought her a drink before. Apparently she literally did not watch any western media or ignored whatever was on screen. Because the whole concept of anyone walking up to anyone in a bar and buying them a drink was a legit alien experience to her.

Long story short… I saw her a second time a few weeks later at the same bar and she had some friends with her. She treated me like I was an ATM and basically thought that as long as she groped at me inappropriately (she even grabbed my head and shoved it against her breasts, forcibly I might add since I tried to resist) she could ask for meals and drinks and spending money for her and her friends (without the slightest hint of reciprocal sex). However she and friends were giddy and laughing while doing it.

I described the situation to them as I am here without mentioning the whole ‘this person never had a person buy her a drink’ but I DID add it later.

However this did nothing to convince them that they were trying to manipulate them, and they insisted that actually I should have gone for it and lost my virginity in a threesome with some MILFs that day. I am mildly exaggerating, but that was the gist of it.

BTW, just as an FYI, in many bars I went to in Dubai, they were lousy with sex workers. I did have plenty of girls touch me and act all giddy (but not ask for anything) and offer me ‘massages’ (which is a thinly veiled euphemism for sex in case it wasn’t obvious) for reasonable prices. The guys I was talking to weren’t in the middle east and just could not wrap their heads around my experiences being different from theirs.

Even with going online, they said nothing about where to go, how to make a good profile, what pictures to use or anything. Even trying to message people they insisted that you must never say anything other than ‘hi’ at first. This is even when they actually showed me what they did and had giant text walls that they sent detailing whatever was on her profile. I wasn’t able to replicate those, but their advice was just designed to make me waste my time.

Long story short. I am 41 now. Not a virgin, but dealing with a lot of bullshit. I dont care who I tell this to, but I am prepping to see a sexual therapist. I am practically writing my autobiography so I can just give it to them and bring them up to speed so I don’t waste tons of time and money just going on and on with the sessions. I need actual help and not just someone to talk to.

Same here.

What is attractive and unattractive is always relative. I have seen fat girls with thin guys. And fat guys with thin girls. Many people who seemingly had a major disconnect in looks. But both found one another attractive.

For me I am quite OK with a chubby gal as much as a petite gal. But I am not attracted to either extreme. I knew an anorexic-like skinny girl and I found her far less attractive than even a very obese girl. The anorexic gal generated some concern for me because she was clearly starving, but couldn’t eat much. Not due to a fear of getting fat, but to a metabolic issue.

I have had more than one. I am autistic with an anxiety disorder and ptsd and I had guys who aren’t those things always talk to me about girls like I am super pick up master just because inam decently looking and in shape. They way they talked about their experiences made me kinda not want any, too…

And no matter how much I tried to explain my situation when asking for advice they just gave sabotaging and extremely vague advice that doesn’t mean anything. I wasted away my 20s and a large part of my 30s because of shit like that.

I do… and always will.

I was unaware that it is a sonic reference. I was actually referring to the German V-1 rocket that was nicknamed the Buzz Bomb by the allies.

Edit: https://sonic.fandom.com/wiki/Buzz_Bomber

Shit! Wow, mother of all coincidences!

Dude, we had a sub down, a CEO shot (and Luigi didn’t do it. I am praying for an acquittal), and now this! I mean the whales are still attacking yachts, and I am hoping for more karma to land on their asses due to their own hubris.

What would be funny is that if you have someone planning to go Luigi on a billionaires ass only for them, just moments before, die in a stupid and unrelated manner… then our would be assassin just walks away not having done anything and saying ‘meh, saved me the trouble!’