“He’s at the Hilton!” “Well then, let’s go there!” “I dunno, it doesn’t sound great. This guy only ranked it 2 stars, and apparently it really hates cops.”

This has very “I have tons of black friends” vibes.

If the image is even slightly convincing, it’s essentially just defamation with digital impersonation thrown in. Yeah, that might catch photoshop in its net, but you’d need to be a DAMN good artist to get caught in it as well.

The classic xkcd for the occasion

It’s a class action lawsuit. It represents the rights of an entire group, even if it’s only a single person bringing forward the suit. It’s not about the harm done to a single person.

If a thief steals one dollar from a thousand people, you could say “oh, that person only lost a dollar” or you could say “that thief stole a thousand dollars”. The harm suffered to each individual was minimal, but harm was suffered, and if you add it all up, a lot of harm was done. That’s not frivolous.

I first heard it as lawnmower. And either way, it’s more about the structure than about getting every word right. If nobody could put their own spin on existing jokes, we never would have gotten Norm’s version of the moth joke.

I was very careful in having him say “am I right in assuming” instead of “that means” for that part.

Does he deserve one, though? He hasn’t done anything useful, he’s just been standing next to a bench.

Oh, it absolutely is. Tradition for tradition sake leads to so many bad practices.

I don’t know for certain if he deserves it or not, but this guy will always be known as the guy accused of using a buttplug to cheat at chess. There’s no escaping it at this point.

Yeah, my one builds on this one. Mine has a horse.

I don’t speak German either, but I like it in English either way. It’s a reversal of how the misunderstanding usually happens in comedy while still being an understandable mistake, and an extra step on the part of the person who made the mistake that adds absurdity.

I figured you’d get stuck on that.

Predict the future, I guess. I just looked at the onion website, so I’m pretty sure I know the news headlines for the next week.