I’ve got 5,800 and am not on the list. What the fuck?!

Maybe if Elon throws out a few more Nazi salutes, it will fix the problem. Surely that will increase sales.

Nah, then he wouldn’t have been saving any time.

How do you search? I wanna see if I made the list too!

I don’t know why, but I read this as “Five Guys” and thought holy shit I didn’t realize a burger company could be so broke. No wonder their prices are so high!

“We really sound like that?”

Exactly! It’s like Ghandi in Civilization.

Other people have mentioned Baltimore, so I thought I’d share the video: https://youtu.be/Esl_wOQDUeE

I think it’s a bit like the horseshoe theory in politics where the far left and far right agree on some of the same things.

So once you’re super gay, you get to fuck super straight guys. That would explain why all these anti-gay politicians keep getting caught banging dudes in airport bathrooms.

I had a neighbor that didn’t have a job so would try to find creative ways to get money. He tried selling a drawer full of rusty Allen wrenches on Facebook for $100.

I don’t think it sold…

This is why conservatives are anti-sex ed and anti-abortion.

I remember when Facebook used to just show your friends posts in reverse chronological order. You could react to stuff in real time and it felt great. People would do stuff like watch sporting events and TV shows live and then react with all your friends online.

Then it changed to just pure alogrithm garbage filled with ads.

That’s how I talk to my cat.

“Meow!”

“Really?”

“MEEEOOOWW!”

"Oh my goodness, never in your whole life?"

“MEEEEEEEEOOOOWWW!!”

“Ok then let’s get you fed, you poor thing.”

Our bonuses are tied to Copilot adoption rates. But it’s not able to do anything useful for my actual work, so I have to use it for shit like “Copilot, take this emoji and make it holding a cartoon knife.”

Real glad my children won’t have any water for this.

Beat meat, oh it.

I hate that we’ve had to change this calculation from a billionaire to a trillionaire. Both are fucking disgusting numbers.

Also, I swear to God if anyone mentions compound interest I’m gonna strap you to one of Elon’s exploding rockets.

Yeah it’s a Democratic governor. Ain’t no way they’ve enough spine to appoint someone and let the courts sort it out.

https://archive.ph/ZveCI

Dude went a few SECONDS over his time and they arrested him. Even when he said he was done speaking.

This is actually very common across businesses. My company actually has our bonuses tied to AI adoption, so we have dashboards showing people’s AI usage. Other major companies have done the same, which lead to the practice of “token maxxing” where people were using AI to make more AI calls to boost their numbers up.

Archive link: https://archive.ph/c6DSo