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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: July 8th, 2023

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  • My experience with stressors is that they are relative, and they scale to fit the available worry. I’m stressed about work, but from personal experience I have been just as stressed about being unemployed or about school. Therefore the stress is the common thing - if it is common then adjusting to the stress is more productive than avoiding the stresses.

    Hence meditation, exercise, meaningful relationships, etc.



  • macrocarpa@lemmy.worldtoHumor@lemmy.worldWelcome to Lauren's Wedding
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    3 months ago

    Could be

    Intentional self aware and self effacing humour from the couple

    A tongue in cheek thing arranged by either the bride or groom

    She did all the work in arranging it and he doesn’t give a shit about marriage so a passive aggressive way of her celebrating an event that matters for he, but not for him

    Soneone photoshopping



  • When you look for things to be angry about, when you look for things to be resentful about, you find them.

    When you look for things to be satisfied with, when you look for things to be grateful for, you find them.

    I found the opposite. I have achieved far, far more through practising gratitude, knowing my values and moving towards them rather than being pressure and goal oriented.

    I went for a walk this morning, in a park near my house. It was cold and grey, so.i was grateful for my gloves and for the solitude. How good is it that I can go for a walk, in a park near my house? Hear birds, breathe air see trees, smell the frost? How good that there are parks, and birds, and it’s safe, and I can walk. I want to keep doing it. I’m grateful for that.


  • macrocarpa@lemmy.worldtomemes@lemmy.worldEvery day.
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    5 months ago

    Like I said, gratitude is hard.

    It is hard to have gratitude when there is inequality

    It is hard to have gratitude when competition is encouraged and enshrined by people who benefit from it

    It is hard to have gratitude when the constructs in which we live seem unjust

    It is hard to wake up and look around and find something to be grateful for

    It is hard to be grateful when all you can see is what you don’t have

    Being genuinely appreciative of what you do have leads to a quieter mind and a happier life. We have one life.

    It comes across as some stupid bullshit, I know. But the resentment and frustration aren’t useful. Clarity of mind and purpose is, and is more sustainable than passion and anger.

    My 2c.




  • macrocarpa@lemmy.worldtoMemes@lemmy.mlfeeling old now?
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    6 months ago

    our parents felt the same thing

    Your dad simultaneously saw you as the baby who slept securely in his arms, the child he saw through junior school, the teen who he tried to help steer past his own mistakes and the adult he wistfully spoke of with pride

    Imagine how good he must feel to know that you remember him this way.


  • being perennially excluded from parents group, kids activities, volunteering, coaching and other social connective activities because you’re a male parent and might accidentally sexually assault someone

    losing multiple male friends to suicide, and seeing society handwave it away as being less important than any other form of death, despite its incidence being 10 times that of homicide

    being objectified as inherently dangerous, simply for having a penis, and worse still understanding why

    starting each day trying to be good, and do good, and that still never, ever being enough

    Why participate?


  • The reason I say in person is because if the amount of information which is transmitted via direct conversation is orders of magnitude higher than through eye contact, tone, language and body language.

    If you and I were talking right now, I could maintain eye contact, rotate my shoulders so I face you, position my head in a way that says I’m listening, use my voice to indicate that I’m contrite, or uncomfortable, or supportive.

    It can be excruciatingly uncomfortable for people who are used to having virtual tools abstract away the hard parts of interaction. But that’s exactly what (in this case) women are saying they feel. They feel, in the real world, they’re not safe. To me, the weight of that comes from a direct interaction rather than a news article or twitter post.

    My opinion etc




  • I think it has to happen in person.

    At the heart of this is the unfortunate fact that nuance is lost in online discussion. The reason that the bear scenario is so notable is it is so polarising. “yes! That’s how I feel!” vs “you’re reducing me to a threat”

    An honest and direct conversation between two peers is far more likely to have a lasting effect. Hearing what the lived experience is directly from the person who’s experiencing it is far, far more more compelling than the stark bear statement.

    I don’t feel unsafe most of the time. But I have felt unsafe and vulnerable before. Thus when a female colleague told me about being followed by a guy in a park while walking her dog, and feeling torn between straight running away and keeping her pet safe, it resonated directly with me. I could see her reliving the experience and see her distress. She shouldn’t have to go through that. It’s not fair.

    That conversation resonated far more completely than the bear tweet.


  • macrocarpa@lemmy.worldtomemes@lemmy.worldnuanceposting
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    6 months ago

    It’s a lot easier to identify with the bad guys if you’re assumed to be a bad guy.

    “Women think I’m more dangerous than a bear? What the hell? I never did anything”

    Followed by

    “hey what this guy on YouTube says is true, women sexualise themselves, I mean look at instagram. This isn’t my problem,.”

    I know this is a bit of an over simplification but thought 1 is what I thought.

    I’m a bit older, tho and my second thought was - “but ive never felt unsafe alone with a woman, definitely have felt unsafe around some men.”