I agree with everything except for this part:

Almost every coffee shop that sells coffee also sells sweetened and frozen coffee drinks, with similar caloric/sugar content.

You wouldn’t find another coffee shop in my city that sells anything comparable to the sugar-milk-coffee drinks from Starbucks. An affogato or caffè freddo probably has less than half the amount of sugar. They have pastries that dissolve your enamel within three bites though.

But to reiterate, wrong community for this post.