The key to working at a place like Ars Technica is solid news judgment. [eds note: tell that to Benj Edwards] I’m talking about the kind of news judgment that knows whether a pet peeve is merely a pet peeve or whether it is, instead, a meaningful example of the Ways that Technology is Changing our World.
The difference between the two is one of degree: A pet peeve may drive me nuts but does not appear to impact anyone else. A Ways that Technology is Changing our World story must be about something that drives a lot of people nuts.
“But where is the threshold?” I hear you asking plaintively. “It’s extremely important that I know when something crosses the line from pet peeve to important, chin-stroking journalism topic!”
Fortunately, the answer is simple. The threshold has been breached when your local public transit agency puts up a sign about the behavior in question.
Which brings me to the sign I saw yesterday in Philadelphia.
“Unless the tea is REALLY hot, keep the call off speaker,” it said.
(For those not in the US, “tea” in this context means gossip or news.)
I fucking hate speakerphone and don’t use it even in my van unless a photo or document is shared during the conversation that needs to be addressed.


I care less about speakerphone than I do Bluetooth headsets or regular phone speaker use near me.
The speakerphone makes more noise!
Yes, but people already have conversations between each other in public where we can hear both sides. We train ourselves to tune those out. A speakerphone is analogous to that case of another human talking.
What I find most disruptive about phone conversations near me versus listening to two other people talking (which I can tune out) is that the speech pattern of a phone user is to say something and then pause. The problem is that that is exactly the signal that someone has said something to you, and that your attention is required. I have a harder time ignoring those one-sided conversations than turning out a conversation where I can hear both sides, because it’s basically constantly giving my head the “you just missed something and need to respond” signal. It’s like when someone says something to you, waits for a few seconds, and then your attention gets triggered and you look up and say “what?”
Now, the article does also reference someone turning a speakerphone way up, and that I can get, if you’re playing it louder than a human would speak. But that’s also kinda a special case.
I think that in general, the best practice is to text, and I think that most would agree that that’s uncontroversially the best approach in public. But after that, I’d personally prefer to have speakerphone use, above headset or regular phone use.
EDIT: One interesting approach — I mean, smartphone vendors would always like to have new reasons to sell more hardware, so if they can figure out how to make it work, they might jump on it — might be phones capable of picking up subvocalization.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Subvocalization
You’d probably also need some sort of speech synthesizer rig capable of converting that into speech.
A conversation where someone’s using headphones/earbuds and a subvocalization-pickup phone would avoid some of the limitations of texting (not limited to text input speed on an on-screen keyboard or having to look at the display), provide for more privacy for phone users, and not add to sound pollution affecting other people in the environment.
EDIT2: Other possibilities for the speaker side:
Bone conduction
This has actually been done, but has some limitations on the sound it can produce, and you need to have a device in contact with your head.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bone_conduction
Phase-array speakers to produce directional sound
Here, you need to have the device track its position and orientation relative to a given user’s ears, then have a phase array of speakers that each play the sound at just the right phase offset to produce constructive interference in the direction of the user’s ears — it’s beamforming with sound. Other users will have a hard time hearing the sound, which will be garbled and quieter, because of destructive interference in their direction.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beamforming
We more-frequently use this for reception than for transmission, with microphone arrays, but you can make use of it for transmission. You’ll need a minimum number of speakers in the array to be able to play beams of sound with constructive interference in the direction of a given number of listeners.
I can see where you’re coming from on that at least with speakerphone, you know no one is addressing you. When I was at my ex’s last week, she said something from the bedroom, prompting me to loudly say “What?” Her son had just called, and if he’d heard my voice, we’d not have parted ways on good terms.