The NYT was roundly mocked for the original headline and has now changed it to

No One at Waffle House Remembers FEMA Official Who Says He Teleported In

      • Buffalox@lemmy.world
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        7 hours ago

        Surely that’s a coincidence. If it was the beer, how come you don’t teleport a little bit after 1 beer?
        My logic is infallible, and by my logic we can 100% exclude that beer has anything to do with it.

        The power of deduction baby. 😋

    • P00ptart@lemmy.world
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      7 hours ago

      I haven’t teleported since this one time where I immediately got lost and had to ask a dragon for a ride home. I woke up naked on my neighbor’s porch with a tattered ribbon of red silk tied around my penis.

    • notabot@piefed.social
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      8 hours ago

      It’s terrible what the aliens do to people after they scoop them up and before they teleport them back to Earth. There’s probes and prodding and general dubious medical practices. That’s probably what causes it. I’ve heard they use certain solvents to pacify people first though, so you might fail a breath test when you first return.

      • Buffalox@lemmy.world
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        7 hours ago

        Yeah I think they are examining my head a bit too much. So much I’m sometimes also dizzy from it?!