If they pretend to be happy to see us, we’ll scratch behind their ears and let them forget about the nightmare they live at all times, and secretly they hunger for our blood. But if they slake their thirst and eat our livers, there will be no one to give them scritches.

So they play along despite their ancient hatred and maybe, just maybe, we’ll give them that hard rub on the spot just above the tail. Yah, that one. Oh, god, keep doing that. Yah, do it, you sonofabitch, or I’ll rip your throat out in your sleep tonight because you’re no use to me anymore.

    • ikidd@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
      417·
      16 hours ago

      Then you really go to town behind their ears and the sounds they make as they lean into make you understand that no amount of self-manipulation equals the real thing.

      If you were given a choice between jerking yourself off and getting a no-strings-attached blowie, what would you choose?

      Edit: I’m fascinated at the amount of downvotes this comment is gathering, especially in a fluff comm like this. Anyone want to tell me why they’re downvoting? Because sex bad?

      • over_clox@lemmy.world
        3·
        21 hours ago

        Meh, I can’t even scratch my own ears right, that’s why I use cotton swabs every few days or so. Our dog Brownie lets me clean his ears out every few months or so too, and he loves it!

        Yeah yeah, I know, you’re not supposed to put cotton swabs in your ears. That’s just the companies covering their own asses against potential ruptured eardrums, but I’m pretty sure most everyone does it anyways, just gotta be careful, obviously.

  • snek_boi@lemmy.ml
    4·
    16 hours ago

    It may seem as if we cannot know, but if we want to evaluate this then we see something different.

    Dogs are mammals, just like us. Their brain structures are sufficiently similar to understand its mechanisms, such as its structures and electrical flows, the secretion of hormones related to pleasure, connection, stress, or panic.

    If dogs were constantly itchy, we would’ve known ever since we started analyzing brains in terms of their structure, their function, and their interactions with bodies.

    So no, dogs aren’t constantly itchy.

  • 58008@lemmy.worldEnglish
    2·
    17 hours ago

    If you’ve ever met my dog, you’ll know why I cannot disagree with this theory 😆

  • early_riser@lemmy.world
    21·
    17 hours ago

    Another excellent shower thought!

    My doggo has recently developed seasonal allergies, and he’s been itchy as a result. I wish there were a non drowsy antihistamine that was dog safe.