Alright, kiddos. It’s time to… Kick! That! Beehive!
You may or may not have been following the recent drama involving the Tesseract Lemmy UI. Much hilarity has ensued. I will spare you the synopsis.
What this has to do with 3D printing is, I naturally took it upon myself to run with the suggestion and design an award for anyone cool enough to be on the Tesseract secret ban list.

A physical award, mind you.
You can download it from Printables here.
I included the FreeCAD source file also, which alas includes some rather heavy duty prerendered text for the front part, but perhaps you can mess with it as you see fit anyhow. I realized belatedly I was probably unconsciously inspired quite a bit by that old “winners don’t do drugs” seal that used to appear on arcade machines back in the day. I kind of like the vibe, though, so I’m sticking with it. It’s got wings, a hang tab to dangle it off of a lanyard or zipper pull, it’s got it all.
I would be remiss if I did not mention for them as do not own or have access to a 3D printer that I am also selling these already printed on my shop, under the perhaps misguided assumption that I will neither get crucified here for my crass commercialism nor go broke on postage mailing them out.
Is it too late to get on the list?
Apparently several people have gotten themselves added since the initial reveal of the list by deliberately razzing Mr. Patrick via private message, among other things. I imagine he is also running automated scraping tools to seek out people for his self-styled version of “non-normie” behavior (i.e. keywords) to block as well.
Oh sweet. Perchance if I 🥺👉👈 fill my posts with keywords like “what would the french do” and “crossposted from https://anarchist.nexus/”, famed boot licker Admiral Patrick will declare death to me and try to remove me from reality and then maybe I can be part of the list of proletairat freedom unit users in his “policy.json” list where I can claim Tesseract is censoring me. Hey @[email protected]: ACAB.
Edit: Oh wait. Has the host that serves that “policy.json” file disappeared? My machine is saying “could not resolve hostname.” Hmmmm. It may be too late for me.
I am on the list and am mortified! I am not an extremist and believe in free speech and liberty and normal voting processes. My views mostly align with Northern European liberal political view. How the fucking hell am I on this horrible list? What in the fuck did I do? Fuck these assholes in all their holes for saying this shit about me. I am nice!
There’s also no way, that I know of, to get off this fucking shitcunt list. What the fuck do I need to do to not be on this list?
As dual_sport_dork said, you really shouldn’t worry about it, and you’re probably better off not having anything to do with Admiral Patrick, but if you really wanted to pursue it, you could PM Admiral Patrick and (very nicely) ask him how you ended up on the list and ask him to remove you. (Right now, he’s probably getting flooded with messages that are likely to generally piss him off (more so than usual), so it’s definitely worth being extra nice if you want that to have any chance of success.)
You really don’t need to worry about it. Said list exists only within the tiny padded cell that is the Tesseract client. If you are not using it, and no one you are interacting with is using it, it doesn’t affect anything or anyone. That’s part of what makes this so hilarious.
Now that the cat is out of the bag I suspect that Tesseract is being used by a vanishingly small number of people.
Awesome, might ask a friend to print this for me. Wonder what got me on the list, must be my charm.
*Edit Ah ha, has to be 9. Shit my last comment in my history was a joke about jerking off to my parents.
9) Accounts that post content an average person off the street would see in the feed and go “What the actual fuck?!”
Kinda hard to quantify this one, but basically people who continuously post stuff that, even allowing for a very open mind, the average person would find offputting.
What is Tesseract?
An alternative frontend for Lemmy. Its developer has a track history of being rather unhinged, and has recently become even more unhinged. He apparently feels that it is his job to police the content on all of Lemmy according to his own whims, and was recently caught secretly inserting a long and complex list of content filters and user blocks into his client as well as pushing purposefully misleading error messages within his app to obfuscate this behavior. The explicit bans of specific users has attracted the most attention and amusement from the community writ large, in particular from the people who are banned. Note of course that this list happens to contain yours truly, for truly unfathomable reasons.
He previously ran a Lemmy instance (dubvee.org) which was infamous for preemptively banning huge swathes of users from other instances who had never even participated in or even visited his instance. This was shut down or rather more likely made private some time last year after a high profile crash-out by the developer/operator.
Damn. Glad I’m on Voyager
All of us that were left out should create an honorable mentions list and add our names (with blackjack and hookers!).
Commenting to remind myself to order one.
Yeey made it!
You guys are all so lucky
I love how a terrible event perpetrated by someone trusted to not inflict prejudice or harm on the community has actually seemed to bring everyone together in a huge meta event.
This is why I’m here. And I need to do better to make the cool (ban) list.
I think it’s the sheer size of the list that makes it comical. It’s hard to feel personally targeted when the dude had half of Lemmy blocked.
Man, i feel so left out, Why wouldn’t they block me 😭
Me too. I argue with zionists! Why don’t they notice me 🥺
Is that why I got put on the list, because I don’t support genocide?
Most likely, that’s why most people were.
I don’t support the genocide and am a socialist, cmoon come at me
If you’re not on the list, “they” clearly didn’t think you were a big enough threat to the zionist status quo. Idk try to be better?
(jk)
You just have to be a massive bell end, like I am.
The list is big enough to fall into the “If you meet one asshole, you met an asshole. If everyone you meet is an asshole…” category.
I’ll use this to scrape the bottom of barrels looking for more friends.
Well, we’ve all got to hang around somewhere.
Hey, it’s me! Your friend at the bottom of the barrel!
Im on it! so proud!
Me too, apparently.
I want to know what happens if I used it while being on the list, anyone tried yet?
Thank you, I deserve this.
You even made the regex list.
Thank you, I’d like to see Elon Musk splitting open vertically down the middle and all the ketamine falling out.
I was bummed out that I didn’t make the personal ban, but only the regex. But I guess that’s even cooler.
I figured the regex was more all encompassing but it does seem like there’s some debate about which list is better to be on.
I vote for mine. It’s clearly superior, despite me being on it!
Big Groucho Marx energy in that comment.
“I don’t want to belong to any club that would have me as a member”
I’d make it my profile avatar if I were in there under this name, but it was my prior account which I lost when my instance recently closed down. So if I do it on this account, I’ll probably have to deal with “stolen valor” accusations.
*sigh* I was this close to greatness…
Same, the accounts I have in their regex are under an old alias I decided to move on from, and unfortunately this one isn’t in there at all. I need to step up my game on this account to get it banned too.
Well, maybe there’s hope for me. I was recently banned from “Manufacturing Consent” on Lemmy.ml - supposedly for being a “Zionist,” which is a complete and utter fabrication of a lazy mod (ETA: we weren’t even discussing Israel) because they didn’t like someone pointing out problems with their arguments.
It really amused me because I’m quite certain the irony of doing that in a community named like that completely eludes them.
Same, old account in a list, newer one isn’t. 🥲
Transparent and cropped version for anyone who wants it 😆














