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M0oP0o@mander.xyz to Not The Onion@lemmy.worldEnglish · 4 days ago

Military Says It Will ‘Continuously’ Monitor Bathrooms to Comply With Anti-Trans Order

www.404media.co

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Military Says It Will ‘Continuously’ Monitor Bathrooms to Comply With Anti-Trans Order

www.404media.co

M0oP0o@mander.xyz to Not The Onion@lemmy.worldEnglish · 4 days ago
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An internal memo obtained by 404 Media also shows the military ordered a review hold on "questionable content" at Stars and Stripes, the military's 'editorially independent' newspaper.
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  • HubertManne@piefed.social
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    So. Your a veteran. Yes sir! Bathroom monitor first class, sir!

    • tacosanonymous@mander.xyz
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      Obviously, it would be a position for a private contractor who gets paid more than any enlisted service member bc of a no-bid contract.

      • ButteryMonkey@piefed.social
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        Goddamnit that’s entirely accurate. They replaced the -room inspections- with civilians on the base I was on when processing out, and they expected white glove every single day.

        lol fuck that. White glove is special event/booter cleaning; eat my whole ass.

        • tacosanonymous@mander.xyz
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          I speak from experience. I was in Afghanistan and the companies that provide laundry services or food were just making insane amounts.

      • Possibly linux@lemmy.zip
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        3 days ago

        $800,000 salary

    • henfredemars@infosec.pub
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      4 days ago

      Only the best and brightest! 🦅

  • Bassman27@lemmy.world
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    4 days ago

    Penis inspection day is now canon in US Lore

    • Diplomjodler@lemmy.world
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      TEN HUT!

      PRESEEEENT DICK!

      • Darth_Lemmy@lemmy.zip
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        4 days ago

        cock salute!

    • FerretyFever0@fedia.io
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      Can already imagine soldiers getting shamed for having shrimp dicks. Sucks for them ig.

      • Gerblat@lemmy.world
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        Boot camp already has things like group showers and two-to-a-urinal, three-to-a-stall bathroom breaks, not to mention there are already assigned cock-watchers when there are mass piss tests to ensure everyone’s piss is fresh from the source. Everyone’s seen each other naked a hundred times by the time you graduate. Discussion on the matter generally gravitates less toward the smaller guys and more toward whichever lucky soul is hung like a Louisville Slugger.

        Note, this is not in defense of monitored bathrooms, that’s just ridiculous. Just pointing out that this wouldn’t introduce the opportunity for mockery

        • Darth_Lemmy@lemmy.zip
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          I NeEd To SeE tHe PiSs LeAviNg ThE bOdY!

          fucking peter gazers

        • warbond@lemmy.world
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          4 days ago

          Never had multi-user stalls or pissers, but I seem to recall a big round communal trough for high bathroom throughput. Everybody just kind of pissing in each other’s general direction.

        • FerretyFever0@fedia.io
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          3 to a stall? How the hell? Anyways, thanks for the info lol

          • Gerblat@lemmy.world
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            No problem haha.

            Usually it was one on each side pissing kinda diagonally, about 4 and 8 o’clock, assuming the wall behind the toilet was 12, then one pissing normally at the 6 o’clock position. It helped that the stalls didn’t have any doors 😅 it was definitely close quarters, but it helped us develop our sword-fighting skills

      • Darth_Lemmy@lemmy.zip
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        they’re growers now show-ers? have a little sympathy

    • rc__buggy@sh.itjust.works
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      DICKS OUT, MARINES!

    • abbiistabbii@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      4 days ago

      I wish this wasn’t true but it is.

    • M0oP0o@mander.xyzOP
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      Well that and “lack” of Penis inspection day next door as well.

  • MantisToboggon@lazysoci.al
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    That sounds fiscally responsible.

    • WhatAmLemmy@lemmy.world
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      Nothing says Christian fascist dictatorship quite like show me your genitals

  • klu9@piefed.social
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    Don’t you feel great again, America?

    • Stupidmanager@lemmy.world
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      4 days ago

      No. Send help

      • Possibly linux@lemmy.zip
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        3 days ago

        Don’t worry Russia has got our back

      • InputZero@lemmy.world
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        Unfortunately there isn’t a lot of help available. American’s are going to have to clean up their own house.

  • Onno (VK6FLAB)@lemmy.radio
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    Wow, nothing quite like solving the big issues in life.

    • Flax@feddit.uk
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      If Donald goes to the bathroom, they’ll be solving the small issues

  • DirkMcCallahan@lemmy.world
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    Your tax dollars at work.

    • M0oP0o@mander.xyzOP
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      Lucky for me that is not the case.

  • charade_you_are@sh.itjust.works
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    It’s scary this will not be the stupidest thing that I read today.

    • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
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      We live in the dumbest timeline.

      • charade_you_are@sh.itjust.works
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        4 days ago

        facts

  • ThePyroPython@lemmy.world
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    4 days ago

    US Army facing combat: _______

    US Army when a penis is used in a women’s stall: AAAAAAHHHHH! They have their cock out behind a closed stall and just using the bathroom like anyone else! RUN AWAY!

    Penis Panickers.

    • Possibly linux@lemmy.zip
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      3 days ago

      White House Evacuated After Trans Alarm Goes Off

  • thann@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    PENIS POLICE! GET YOUR PANTS ON THE GROUND!

  • MyOpinion@lemmy.today
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    Just what MAGAts love cameras in bathrooms monitoring penis.

    • WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today
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      Maybe they just love penis

      • Possibly linux@lemmy.zip
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        Porn and sex toys are fairly popular in the bible belt

  • ripcord@lemmy.world
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    Epstein

  • Flax@feddit.uk
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    Soldiers are going to stand outside bathrooms to check for budgie smugglers? That’s a bit extreme.

    Just tell them there’s oil in the middle east. That’ll get them out of your road.

  • Susaga@sh.itjust.works
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    It’s impressive how most of these right-wing nuts have been complying with this order for decades already.

  • ABetterTomorrow@sh.itjust.works
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    I’m going to piss on your monitoring system.

  • supersquirrel@sopuli.xyz
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    Pathetic

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