I mean its bascially the same principle.
Immigrants get “adopted” by a country
Just as Orphans get adopted by prospective parents
Then you get the International Adoptions which is bascially both combined… those probably have the most identity crisis…
My mom died when I was in middle school. She was the taskmaster parent and my dad treated me basically like a roommate, so I was way more independent in high school and beyond than I would have been if she had lived. I see the ghost of the timeline in which things were different. I think that happens for any huge changes in life.
I’m an immigrant in Germany and moved here about a decade after I studied abroad here. I don’t think I would have been allowed/able to study abroad, especially under the circumstances (I failed German, after getting a 95 and a 98 on the midterm and final, respectively, because I didn’t do the homework), so I don’t think I would have been able to come here and become a German as a second language teacher without prior immersion. My life would look very different, and I’d probably be leaning into my Spanish a lot more to try to emigrate to a Spanish speaking country, if I were even thinking about leaving.
My mom was a republican, but I don’t know if she would have followed my dad down the Fox News wormhole or if she would have pulled him out of it. I think if she snapped out of it, but couldn’t snap him out of the maga hypnosis, she might have left him, which would probably have set my dad on a very unpleasant path.
Jesus christ. I sorry to hear that.
This makes me appreciate my parents even more. I mean at least they’re more of the “status quo” type of people and not extremists.
I remember cuddling with mom a lot… and I felt very warm and safe when I sleep with parents when I was younger…
I wonder how much did my mother’s affection changed me…
Did I get more “soft” because of that?
Like I have a weird emotional attachment to my mom who says mean things to me a lot…
So I essentially feel very vulnerable and need my mom to validate my existence.
I wonder… what if my mom was more “cold” towards me… or like died? would I have just grown more independent? But conversely that also makes me more deprived of love and that doesn’t go well… I might’ve become a more aggressive person…
But my mom is so like ambivalent towards me that I essentially have two personalities. Sometimes I’m just in rage… other times I feel so timid I wanna be a kid again…
Did my mom’s ambivalent affection helped or harmed me?
I mean dad doesn’t even show affection at all.
I mean I guess now in this timeline… I’ve felt what cuddling feels like… so I could pass on this feeling to the next generation, but without the other side, the negative side, of it (the random “bipolar mode” yelling at me)