(TikTok screencap)
You must log in or register to comment.
Yeah but do you even scrum bro
There is this weird thing in corporate where there is an aversion to teaching certain types of roles. In IT its always expected you learn and you’ll be given stuff and told to figure it out even when its completely outside you role and not tech related. But god forbid any other department has to spend 5mins learning how to use their own tool. So many times some fuckwit comes and says “we need this software that gives us a notification for x event its only 10,000 a year” but you already have that feature in your current software just go set it up. “I dont know how to set it up”
ok so learn? Go read the documentation bro I dont know what else to tell you figure it out the software is designed for people like you to do this exact thing. its your software you got it for this purpose you can’t just get new software because it wasnt preconfigured exactly how you need.
Does my head in. But ive been mentally defeated now i just laugh and say sure send me your business case and I’ll put in the request. Then I get a dogshit AI generated corpspeak slop request. Its always like this will boost productivity and efficiency. Yeah sure it will mate.
Oh god there was one for making AI generated training videos and I’m just thinking but you already send out shitty AI generated training videos why do you need this specific expensive software to do it. This meme ruined my day.
Like 30% of my job is just onboarding apps that one of the departments in the company buys, can’t figure out how to use, and then replaces with something else and so on. Then the Clevels bitch about how our budget is always fucked.
learning is gay.
making up years of bullshit and conning your entire company into wasting money on it justifies your role as a Very Smart Person
It’s all about incentives. There is no social reward for learning an existing tool that works well. There is a large incentive toward bullshitting a minor inconvenience into a major problem and throwing money at it. especially when it can be ‘measured’ as a metric where the number goes up/down and that’s Good.
And it’s not just corporate. I ran a small volunteer business for years. and this mentality infested it and I quit because I could not tolerate the whiny bullshit from people who wanted to spend $2,000 to ‘solve’ issues rather than just learn shit and not be whiny and entitled. Also the same folks who needed to bring their politics into everything and let you know how ‘good’ and ‘amazing’ they are and if you disagree with them and their whiny stupid ways, you’re a Bad Person. Also, THE NUMBER MUST ALWAYS GO UP OR WE ARE FAILING. In our case it was ‘persons helped’, we have to help more people or we a FAILURES. Can’t have a sustained reliable operation… nope. In our case nitwits were arguing that we were ‘oppressing’ people if we weren’t helping more of them… because THROUGHPUT is all that matters. Regardless of quality…
Group dynamics benefit stupid and manipulative people the most, hence why they so adamantly reinforce and push the stupid and manipulative stuff. And drive away independent and productive people who just want to get shit done, because those people are a threat to the whiny, lazy, entitled people. You will make them look bad.
Because why do work when you can bitch and whine about doing work shouldn’t be necessary?
also we need team building exercises!!! and if you Just Do Your Job, you are also a bad person!!!
Know that feeling. We have Jira and we all had training on it but only about 100 people in an org of 30,000 can create new projects so we all use free Trello until the project is created in jira and still use trello because the person setting up the project did it wrong.
my favorite is adding a task in jira to make edits in Jira.
This is currently happening at my job.
We have one program that does A and B and C and D and E. But for some reason we use it for A and C, but not B and D and E. We don’t really do B or E, but we do D and we do that with just spreadsheets and emails.
and then upper management signs us up for a different website and app and thing that everyone has to sign up and make accounts and do training in order to figure out, and this company is handling B for us.
Then they see another new shiny thing and we have to do all of it over again and it’s supposed to handle D, which we were already handling in another way, but now have to learn this new way.
And then upper management just fuckin’ Mommy Blogs their way into a third and a fourth and a fifth website, service, app, sign up, program, AI, bullshit that we all have to make accounts for, learn how to use, and spam all of our emails, so now we have different services for each thing, A through E, and we’re all screaming “why are you doing this?”
Why couldn’t we just use the original program that did all of these things?
It honestly reminds me of when I was really little and my mom would hear these ‘mom tips’ on how to organize chore charts or incentive programs for us as little kids to get us to clean our rooms. Every summer, sometimes twice a summer, she’d sit us all down super duper excited, eyes sparkling, and go “Okay, family, this is how we’re running everything from now on. Like this is how our entire family is gonna do this. This is what we’re all about now.” and then explain some convoluted points system.
It’d last for like two weeks and then we’d go back to just doing what we wanted to do, until Mom got sparkles in her eyes and chased another ineffective system.
I think bosses are often bored, and they need a sense of pride and accomplishment.
I had a boss who would walk around the cubicle farm giving shoulder massages to us programmers. He was male, we were all male. It wasn’t sexual, it was just his way of exerting dominance, like how cats use grooming sometimes. I finally started yelling “ow, fuck!” whenever he would do it to me. He never did it again, not to me or anybody else in the office.
They take marketing bait way too easily.
1000% more efficient, you say? You’ll train, you say? Out with that old shit we were using!
It’s amazing to me to see how often high level managers in sales organizations are extremely susceptible to obvious and basic BS sales tactics…
you don’t become upper management by being discerning, critical. or pragmatic. That’s how you get labeled ‘difficult’.
You get there by Going Along With The Latest and Greatest and being an Innovator.
This plus needing to show off some kind of thing to their management
I’ve already got mandatory training for the AI replacing the AI that replaced the AI
I’m not even pretending to attend this time
Let the AI attend
Surely can’t the old AI explain to you how to use the new AI?
I’ve used so many of these softwares for different industries and what they all don’t get is that if all it is is a spreadsheet in disguise, don’t obfuscate my ability to edit shit manually. There are so many edge cases in the real world that your production software simply can’t account for but don’t limit my ability to enter raw data when I need to! Fail soft and move on but don’t keep me from entering an order because the programmer didn’t think you would have any reason to order it.
That would only result in everyone entering their own version of what they believe the data should be structured like, making it a completely mangled shitshow without a shred of consistent workflow across the company. As soon as the user has the ability to deviate from the standard data format they will do so, just because they personally want it differently. It’s an absolutely horrible idea.
That would only result in everyone entering their own version of what they believe the data should be structured like, making it a completely mangled shitshow without a shred of consistent workflow across the company.
Hee hee, this reminds me of a job I had a couple of decades ago with a company that made software for Clerks of Court offices. I got a bug ticket that said a “States” picklist in the application had a “few” weird entries in it. I checked the DB and found a States table with 511 entries in it – the 50 normal two-letter abbreviations for US states plus the territories, and hundreds of things like “Lousiana” and “Louisana” and “Louisianna”, and even countries like “Frantce” and “The UK” and whatnot (this experience scarred me and I now have great difficult spelling Louisiana properly). Turns out the States table had originally been pre-populated with the proper abbreviations, but another programmer had gotten the job of automating a marriage form that had a line for indicating which state each person came from. The form dated to the fucking 1800s but they had subsequently used the line for generally stating where each person was from. The programmer was obsessed with relational DBs so he tied this field into the States table but wrote code to add new entries to the table if what clerks typed in wasn’t already there.
This polluted every other place in the application that had a states picklist. How it got to 511 entries before anybody reported a problem is a mystery to me.
Fun fact: the cost of this software was $50,000. Per month. All 64 parishes in the state paid that fee. The application was written and maintained by four programmers, three of whom were morons (I’m not saying whether or not I was one of the three).
I mean, technically most mainstream examples support basically any kind of entry restrictions you can think up, including structured data forms and even binding values to current db constraints but of course the do-anything-super-sheets I’ve come across in the wild aren’t that. Usually improvised tools from a company’s early bivouackers focused on short term enablement rather than long term maintainability.
Monday.com doesn’t even have an undo button
Don’t blame the programmer. They are just doing what they are told.
Ni we’re not.
