I knew all those Linux users were dirty sluts.

You need to be a naughty slut that deserves a spanking for that to appear.

You get a choice of free maid/nurse/lab assistant outfit as well.

Linux Syndrome:

When nobody asked but somehow the solution is Linux.

Skill issue

Praise the machine god

Child: We’ll see who has the last laugh when you put you in the nursing home 10 years early.

This is absolutely it. The C-suite and senior management are made up of sharp people. They absolutely know this will trigger an exodus and a large bag of fire-able workers. They don’t care that they’re likely to lose a bunch of talented, hardworking staff. Its all been accounted for. At worst the results of a mass exodus will only impact their bottom line in a few years. They just need this years numbers to look good and line to go up.

If you’re going down that road, you’re never seeing anything in its present form because even for an object a meter in front of you, all you’re really seeing is the object as it existed nano seconds in the past. Hows is a nano second in the past different from years in the past?

I can the universe 40b light-years

Who is your favorite fearless hero?

One second guys, I thought OP meant he’d be drowning in pussy not actual cat and kitty litter

Multiple sexual harassment claims and lawsuits, including incidents of stolen breast milk.

• Alleged cubicle crawls where drunk employees go cubicle to cubicle harassing females.
• Multiple C suites resigning due to personal indiscretions.
• A “Cosby” suite
• Suicide due to extreme harassment
• Multiple allegations of breast milk missing from office fridges.

You can’t make this shit up.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/California_Department_of_Fair_Employment_and_Housing_v._Activision_Blizzard

Directed by Robert B. Weide

Still waiting for planet X to show itself

I have fond memories of doing that when ROTK first released and my local cinema ran the full trilogy as LOTR marathon.

I would love to relive that memory.

Death is it’s own problem.

The part that’s less known is smokers tend to have other nasty health problems like COPD where even having a conversation needs a breather and climbing a flight of stairs in one go is entirely outside the realm of possibility.

Yo mama so fat they stopped the search for dark matter

My problem is her eyes not sharing the same postal code.

ESH

Your uncle clearly misappropriated property not belonging to him.

By accepting it as a gift, you are now an accessory to the fact.

Old friend of yours is asking you to participate in destruction of property, doesn’t matter how small or valueless it seems it’s not yours to keep discard or destroy… You should be trying to find the rightful owner and returning said item.

These things while seemingly insignificant hold great value and meaning to their owners. I know this cause I’m a jeweller and I’ve had customers tell me how precious their jewellery can be.

Source: Am a Jeweller.

Not sure your pasta will survive that kind of speeds…