My Lemmy Oracle
  • Communities
  • Create Post
  • heart
    Support Lemmy
  • search
    Search
  • Login
  • Sign Up
weird@sub.wetshaving.social to memes@lemmy.world ·
edit-2
7 days ago

Rules are arbitrary

sub.wetshaving.social

message-square
52
fedilink
652

Rules are arbitrary

sub.wetshaving.social

weird@sub.wetshaving.social to memes@lemmy.world ·
edit-2
7 days ago
message-square
52
fedilink
alert-triangle
You must log in or register to comment.
  • csolisr@hub.azkware.net
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    1
    ·
    4 days ago

    Looks like a certain officer doesn’t know about “sexual healing” huh?

  • TachyonTele@piefed.social
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    28
    ·
    edit-2
    7 days ago

    How dare you, officer! That is a person, and she has a name. Her name is Medicinal.

  • socsa@piefed.social
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    26
    ·
    7 days ago

    Sorry officer, I’ll have your daughter home by ten.

  • DavidGarcia@feddit.nl
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    25
    ·
    7 days ago

    I think it was the netherlands where you could actually get a prostitute prescribed and paid for by social security. but only if you are physically disabled or something

    • koetje78@feddit.nl
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      11
      ·
      7 days ago

      This is true, some Dutch municipalities cover costs of “sexual health care” for such cases. It’s targeted at disabled, chronically ill, and lonely elderly patients. Therapy can range from cuddling and companionship to sex, depending on the patient’s needs to help battle loneliness and depression. It is provided by specialised agencies.

      • Deathray5@lemmynsfw.com
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        7 days ago

        Hearing they get free cuddling and getting jealous probably means I should get a cuddle buddy

  • Anomalocaris@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    12
    ·
    7 days ago

    Reminds me of a joke.

    An inspector is touring a hospital, and as they walk around they see a gorgeous nurse giving a blowjob to a patient. the inspector asks what is going on, the doctor explains “he has a rare condition where he needs to get relieved regularly or be in debilitating pain”, the inspector lets it go and continue,

    then they see someone sitting in the middle of the hallway masturbating.

    the inspector asks what is going on, the doctor says “same condition, different insurance”

  • Scott_of_the_Arctic@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    11
    ·
    7 days ago

    Not if I film it.

  • saltnotsugar@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    9
    ·
    7 days ago

    She’s my…accountant.

  • some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    6
    ·
    7 days ago

    All my prostitutes are medicinal. I’m planning to stay very healthy.

  • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    8
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    7 days ago

    I gotta say, if a police officer looked in my window, pointed to the person in the passenger seat, and said “Whore”, I’d grab for his service weapon.

    • FelixCress@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      6
      ·
      7 days ago

      Aren’t you overreacting about your wife? I mean, if is a public knowledge to the extent that even coppers know her…

    • 𝔼𝕩𝕦𝕤𝕚𝕒@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      6
      ·
      7 days ago

    • neidu3@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      6
      ·
      7 days ago

      What if he pointed at you instead, and just left after saying it?

      • TachyonTele@piefed.social
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        13
        ·
        edit-2
        7 days ago

        I’d reassess my decisions in life and how i got here. Cry a little on the inside. Then buckle my seat belt to be safe. And drive to the bar to do more whoring. I’ve got bills to pay.

    • Welt@lazysoci.al
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      3
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      7 days ago

      So… you’d get shot over a scenario that you’ve exaggerated in your mind so you can pretend to be tough to internet strangers.

      • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        5
        arrow-down
        2
        ·
        7 days ago

        So… you’d get shot

        Only if he was faster

  • Higgs boson@dubvee.org
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    6
    ·
    7 days ago

    We’re hearing it was a sick ostrich.

    • neidu3@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      4
      ·
      7 days ago

      Allegedlys

  • fckreddit@lemmy.ml
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    5
    ·
    7 days ago

    First of all, she is a emotional support natural intelligence robot.

  • Grass@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    4
    ·
    7 days ago

    I’ve always wondered if I dressed up like a hooker when out with friends if they would get arrested

    • FelixCress@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      7 days ago

      Why would they get arrested?

      • peoplebeproblems@midwest.social
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        7 days ago

        Honestly, you now have me wondering too. While I try to think of what a stereotype hooker would look like, it’s trashy clothes or club wear. That doesn’t exactly narrow it down in reality.

        • FelixCress@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          4
          ·
          7 days ago

          Even assuming she was a prostitute, the question still stands. Why would they get arrested for being in a car toghther with her.

          • peoplebeproblems@midwest.social
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            2
            arrow-down
            2
            ·
            7 days ago

            Cause it’s illegal?

            • FelixCress@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              3
              ·
              edit-2
              7 days ago

              Even if there are ridiculous jurisdictions where sex with a prostitute is illegal (I presume you mean USA? there is probably more), where would it be illegal to sit in a car with a prostitute?

              • JadenSmith@sh.itjust.works
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                3
                ·
                7 days ago

                Jesus did it all the time in his Accord.

                • FelixCress@lemmy.world
                  link
                  fedilink
                  arrow-up
                  2
                  ·
                  7 days ago

                  😂 Following the path of our Lord

              • peoplebeproblems@midwest.social
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                1
                ·
                7 days ago

                Yeah, US.

                People have been arrested over less.

                • FelixCress@lemmy.world
                  link
                  fedilink
                  arrow-up
                  2
                  ·
                  7 days ago

                  Must be because of freedom or something.

      • Grass@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        7 days ago

        it’s not really enforced any more if it’s even still a thing but you used to see cops going up to cars for this. iirc being a prostitute was fine but picking them up was illegal

  • miss_demeanour@lemmy.dbzer0.com
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    4
    ·
    7 days ago

    Hugh Grant, that you?

    • Spacehooks@reddthat.com
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      7 days ago

      Did he get in this situation?

      • miss_demeanour@lemmy.dbzer0.com
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        6
        ·
        edit-2
        7 days ago

        You could say that:

        • GreenKnight23@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          7 days ago

          well obviously he kept telling her to stop.

        • Spacehooks@reddthat.com
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          6 days ago

          Rofl thank you

  • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    2
    ·
    7 days ago

    Yeah, well, I’m suffering from epididymal hypertension, so unless you’re gonna lend a hand, I think this should be covered by insurance

  • peoplebeproblems@midwest.social
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    2
    ·
    7 days ago

    “What? No, we’re celebrating with expensive champagne being delivered to this cheap ass hotel we’re staying at.”

memes@lemmy.world

memes@lemmy.world

Subscribe from Remote Instance

Create a post
You are not logged in. However you can subscribe from another Fediverse account, for example Lemmy or Mastodon. To do this, paste the following into the search field of your instance: [email protected]

Community rules

1. Be civil

No trolling, bigotry or other insulting / annoying behaviour

2. No politics

This is non-politics community. For political memes please go to [email protected]

3. No recent reposts

Check for reposts when posting a meme, you can only repost after 1 month

4. No bots

No bots without the express approval of the mods or the admins

5. No Spam/Ads

No advertisements or spam. This is an instance rule and the only way to live.

A collection of some classic Lemmy memes for your enjoyment

Sister communities

  • [email protected] : Star Trek memes, chat and shitposts
  • [email protected] : Lemmy Shitposts, anything and everything goes.
  • [email protected] : Linux themed memes
  • [email protected] : for those who love comic stories.
Visibility: Public
globe

This community can be federated to other instances and be posted/commented in by their users.

  • 3.38K users / day
  • 8.73K users / week
  • 16.3K users / month
  • 30.8K users / 6 months
  • 1 local subscriber
  • 15.8K subscribers
  • 6.74K Posts
  • 192K Comments
  • Modlog
  • mods:
  • Tenthrow@lemmy.world
  • The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.world
  • The Picard Maneuver@startrek.website
  • BE: 0.19.5
  • Modlog
  • Instances
  • Docs
  • Code
  • join-lemmy.org