cross-posted from: https://sh.itjust.works/post/49262051
Customs and Border Patrol agent Gregory Lairmore told the jury the snack “exploded all over him” and he “could smell the onions and mustard” on his uniform.
Neither side disputes that Sean Dunn, 37, did in fact lob obscenities and a deli-style sandwich at officers deployed by President Donald Trump to patrol the nation’s capital in August. But Mr Dunn’s lawyer argues it was not a criminal act.
The incident was captured on video and went viral, making Mr Dunn a symbol of opposition in Washington DC to Trump.
Government prosecutors initially tried to secure felony charges against Mr Dunn, but a grand jury declined to indict him. Prosecutors have instead charged him with a lower-level misdemeanour assault.
Except, the sandwhich is shown still wrapped on the ground afterwards, so it didn’t even explode.
A cop? Lying? I don’t think thats legal. And cops are there to enforce the law…therefore, cops good. Right?
…guys?
Oh come on. It’s my first day on earth, and I’m not yet capable of critical thinking. Therefore, I can only say opinions based on nothing, and argue them as fact. If you argue back, I’ll argue louder! Because as we all know, the loudest opinion is right! And who’s louder than me? I’m an American! We’re known for our being the only place on earth. And therefore everybody is right! Except for the people who argue with me. They’re clearly wrong.
TOAST IS BETTER THAN BREAD!!!
Ok, I was with you until the end. Are you implying toast is inferior to bread!?
Heck you, buddy!
Or something…
Heck me??? Fudge to you!
I like toast but I don’t like making toast. I’d like to buy a loaf of toast so then I can just warm it up in the microwave.
I airfry toast
Oh, look at mr fancy pants! With his “air” he can afford to fry! Must be nice to afford all that air…
clearly witchcraft
Update: court adjourned for today with no verdict. Jury deliberations will resume tomorrow.
They’re handling this the exact way they should be handling the clergy that was shot nearly point blank with a chemical weapon in Oakland. Except they aren’t touching that at all and going full ham on a ham sandwich.
This protestor will probably be punished how that costly l cowardly “agent” should be, while the agent walks without a worry in his mind or a lesson learned, akin to how the protestor should feel.
Depends on what the jury decides. Did they manage to find 12 people that will consider a sandwich a weapon and completely discount the protest aspect and all current events?
Considering the prosecution doesn’t get to pick the jury, and both sides decided on the jury via voir dire, I doubt it.
That dude is still gonna have to live with all the jokes about him being a little bitch overreacting to a sandwich. His buddies will never let him love that down regardless of the verdict. And that gives me a tiny spark of happiness in these dark times.
Did they manage to find 12 people that will consider a sandwich a weapon
They don’t have to. Here are model jury instructions for the charge, which include:
There is a forcible assault when one person intentionally strikes another
Notably, there’s no requirement that a weapon is used or physical injury is caused. Reading the statute, the fact that there was physical contact elevates it to a felony even without a weapon or injury, but it isn’t charged as a felony here because the grand jury refused to indict.
I hope that the jury finds him not guilty, but if they do it’s jury nullification, not that his actions didn’t technically violate the statute.
So send the protester the agent’s dry cleaning bill and be done with it. Make them pay for a new uniform if the stain can’t be removed. Simple enough. The fact this is a criminal matter is absurd.
Those uniforms are polyester and probably treated with enough teflon/stain block to keep a sharpie from being permanent.
I’ve worn similar hard uniforms (different color, same supplier, probably. There’s only like 3.) and mustard doesn’t take, even if you’re a dolt who lets it set in.
All that to say; there’s no need for him to do more than run it through a normal wash.
Will he ever recover
It’s not clear. Doctors say it’s hard to get these mustard stains out of the fabric with a regular wash cycle.
Follow up report:
I understand Electroconvulsive Therapy is great for this sort of physical and emotional trauma.
Let’s be honest, the only reason he was upset is he didn’t get to eat it.
Totally unrelated: it’d be a real shame if people talked about jury nullification more eh?
Did he tear up while giving his harrowing testimony?
He was seen pouting very hard
I would upvote you, but every time I see this fuckers pucker I want to kick his teeth in.
Understandable, no worries!
At least he wasn’t hit by gravy. Or he would be poutine
Only if he was Kurdish.
“Customs and Border Patrol agent Gregory Lairmore told the jury the snack “exploded all over him” and he “could smell the onions and mustard” on his uniform.”
Are we ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN this is not The Onion? Hard to say based on the smell.
Did anyone end up eating it? Did a cop eat the evidence, is what I’m asking.
Wasn’t a donut.
Though technically Subway’s bread is considered cake in Ireland due to the sugar content.
To be fair, that’s because of a 1972 law that classifies bread as a staple food with extremely specific requirements. Namely that sugar content is no more than 2% of the flour content, above that is technically a cake legally.
Ignoring the fact that cakes usually have a sugar content of about 35%. The bread is nowhere near actually being cake, no one would actually mistake it for cake, and the courts only classify it that way because of those legal definitions.
its funny how these guys like to advertise like they are kickass then act like the biggest pussies.
The party of family values and fiscal responsibility using any excuse to weaponize the law
Exploded… And the grievous injury of…smelling like mustard and onions for a bit. Man, they are really trying to work that incident.
I’m certainly glad the feds gave up on optics. This should hopefully make for an excellent dark comedy movie once it wraps up (if Sean is aquitted).
I think it would make a good blackbox theater production with the interesting caveat that any theater putting it on has to give tickets out to people for free who agree to have a baguette lightly thrown at them.
Or, hide the bread under a random seat every showing and at the pivotal moment have everyone check under their seat. Whoever has it gets to throw it at the cop.
But if I attend, am I allowed to grab the baguette and eat it?
One of the iron laws of theater is that once a piece of bread touches you as an audience member, you own the bread.
The video clearly showed an intact, wrapped sandwich on the ground after the incident. Nothing “exploded.” The cop lied on the stand (surprise, surprise), and he got called out on it by the defense.
I’m just going to quit calling them any kind of law enforcement term. They are all just domestic terrorists at this point.
Always have been
I used to believe there were some decent people in law enforcement. I don’t feel like that anymore.
Correct.
what’s next? Your Honor, he gave me a stern look and hurt my feelings? Who’s the snowflake here?
Ok I feel we’re not getting crucial information here. Just onions and mustard? Is that a thing? And if so what kind of mustard?
Stop burying the lead!
…every moment of this trial is exciting!..will the riddler show up next and ask an unanswerable question?..
EXPLODED? How many casualties?? Someone think of the overgrown children cosplaying as cops 😪
