Not sure if this goes here, but you ever wake up and wonder if your the bad guy in your life? even if you have done like nothing wrong.
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I think these thoughts are healthy and necessary, and exactly the kind of thoughts I like to have in the shower. It’s great to, as you’re waking up, reflect on the day before with a little bit of distance.
We all fuck up. Sometimes it takes another person pointing it out for us to realize it and apologize. But I find apologies are even more meaningful when the wrongdoer realizes it and apologizes on their own.
There’s someone you’re going to be terrible to and they think you’re an asshole for the rest of their lives. It’s unavoidable. It’s a matter of how often that happens. We’re talking about general behavior as well, you just meet someone and know nothing about them or their affiliations. If everywhere they go they meet assholes then they’re the asshole situation.
I haven’t really.
I’ve questioned my actions or opinions, but that generally leads to a change in my actions or opinions. Like driving a car, I see what’s going on and steer accordingly.
I’m human. Sometimes I’m the good guy, sometimes I’m your worst nightmare of a bad guy.
I prefer being the good guy, but don’t shy away from being the bad guy when the situation demands.
I embrace all aspects of my humanity.
I constantly feel as though I’m a bad person. It’s my Catholic upbringing haunting me, mixed with my anxiety. I try to remind myself that I’m not awful as I think I am.
It’s gotten better for me as I age. Just learn to accept yourself, flaws and all. Try to talk to yourself the way you would talk to a friend having the same feelings.
Yes, more when going to bed than waking up though.
Let me introduce you to “I’m The Villain In My Own Story”: https://youtu.be/UhzN7SfnNeY
From the excellent (though sometimes emotionally heavy) show Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. It’s certainly not the best song in the show, but the most relevant.
And in the artery to that vein, let me present “I’m A Good Person”: https://youtu.be/O4hh1YhDfbA
(Edited to clarify these are not the best songs in the show, there are better songs and in a wide variety of genres!)
If you’ve never asked yourself this question you’re doing it wrong
An unexamined life isn’t worth living. ~ So-Crates
We all play in the villain in someone’s story…
I feel very bad for whoever considers me a villain in their story.
Like not to belittle them or their struggles, but uh… gestures to self just look at me…
I had a man point at me and angrily go “that’s her!” to his companion while passing me.
I work at a bakery and give this motherfucker a free roll and a decaf every day because he’s already on the street when I get there at 4 and he needs to eat. We didn’t have decaf that morning, so I just gave him a roll, because I don’t know why he drinks decaf and I’m not trying to give him a heart attack. He thought it was aggressive of me.
O’Brien. You are an excellent officer, husband and father. A true credit to the Federation.
Emotional Abuse will get you thinking all sorts of things about yourself, even when there isn’t anything to it.
Lemmy seems obsessed with “good people” and “bad people”.
People are complicated and full of nuance.
Someone may have done something that wasn’t great for you, but does that make them “the bad guy”?
More likely their intentions actually pretty vanilla and the outcome was less than ideal due to pretty understandable reasons.
Yes, there are exceptions but you don’t encounter them often enough to worry about.
I think it’s also important to realize that there’s a difference between being hurt and being wronged. Sometimes someone can do something that hurts you but isn’t wrong, morally, ethically, or legally. It might even be the right thing (ie, breaking up a relationship if it just isn’t working out). It might hurt you, but it didn’t wrong you. And then some people wrong you, such as committing crimes against you, being abusive, or shitty to you, and that’s not ok.
Someone may have done something that wasn’t great for you, but does that make them “the bad guy”?
Yes?
More likely their intentions actually pretty vanilla and the outcome was less than ideal due to pretty understandable reasons.
People die from neglect. Should we not punish and rehabilitate those responsible despite whatever their intentions were?
I didnt say we shouldn’t punish people.
Kid: Always analysed things pretty neutral and not afraid to question myself.
20’s-30’s (in a xtian cult): everyone is the worst all the time but Jesus …(blablablabla)
Meanwhile internally: IM GONNA DIE AND BURN FOREVER!!! FFFFUUU……
40’s (10 years an atheist now): I’m ok. I may not have been perfect so far and I’ll never be. But that in itself is how it is and it should be. I live as loving and compassionate as I can and that’s all I can expect from myself and others.
( /s I mean think of all the times I didn’t take someone else’s life)
Right and wrong are not absolutes. The world is not black and white. People of good conscience are always asking themselves if they did right and how could they have been better. Life is not a purity test. The “good people” aren’t without error, mistakes and regrets, sin. They just try overall to do more good for others and our systems than for themselves.
If you never ask yourself if you are a good person, you most likely aren’t.
I always tell people that about parenting. Generally, if you’re worried about not being a good enough parent, you probably are a good parent.
Counterpoint, if you question yourself whether your actions make you a “good person” you’re self aware enough to worry about being a" bad person"
if you were a “bad person,” you probably wouldn’t give a shit in the first place…
That’s not a counterpoint. It’s THE point.
I don’t know if this counts, but I’ve reflected more on my past recently and realized that sometimes I was kind of a turd. Never egregiously so (I hope) but I was often regarded as the quiet nice kid and I think that led to me believing that and probably overlooking some of my less favorable moments or behaviors that people didn’t see as often. I don’t hate myself now or think I’m the villain or anything like that, it’s just been an interesting slow process of reflection as I’ve gotten older. It’s good to be honest with ourselves and realize everyone has their bad moments. We’re not only who we are on our worst day, but also our best, and all those in between
I answered that question with a yes a few times, and eventually quit my job over it. Much happier now. Self-reflection is good and worth it.
Yes. I’m a bad guy for YouTube because I block their ads and I’ll keep being the bad guy.
