That would be hysterical.
Yeah the yawning thing is actually pretty cute.
Worse, we did develop a sympathetic vomiting response. It makes a lot of sense with us being communal eaters. If you buddy is puking up the communal meal maybe you’d better get rid of it before it gets you too.
Tangentially, I think the capitalist encouragement of hurriedly eating alone so that you can get to, from, or back to work faster instead of sitting down to socialize over your meal for an hour or so is genuinely the source of many minor eating disorders.
Shit, of all the ways that capitalism has fucked up our society, I hadn’t considered this one. Thanks. I’m going to try to change my perspective on meal times.
It’s possible we tried but the mutant fart mirrorers weren’t sexually competitive.
I don’t play competitive, I hate running meta
Maybe not to you 😮💨
*yet
Wait. You don’t?
I developed a defensive farting response.
Found the skunk.
Mmh?
Speak for yourself, OP
I mean, if I’m smelling somebody else’s and I also happen to be holding one in at the same time …
iykyk
If we did evolve that way, we might have evolved not to mind the smell so much too
When food rots, some microbes release sulphur dioxide from sulphur-containing amino acids. This smell, even at very low concentrations, helps us avoid rotten food. Removing or reducing this receptor would have been disadvantageous millions of years ago, so we retained it. It’s better to be healthy but hungry than satiated and dead.
Farts
In particular, what to say after you fart in a crowd (or elevator).
“Take that!”
“What do you say?” like prompting a child to say thank you.
“That’ll be five bucks, you pervert”
“Not a bad sound out of a half inch speaker”
“Did you hear that spider bark?"
“Someone step on a duck?”
“That duck’s got bad breath”
Forest Area Reticulated Tree Spiders (FARTS)
“A bit more choke and that engine will start”
“Did you hear what that asshole just said?”
“There’s someone behind me talking shit!”
“Keep shouting Sir, we’ll find you”
“So sayeth the King”
“I shouldn’t have trusted that one”
“I don’t remember eating that.”
“That’s gonna itch when it dries”
‘‘Two sniffs of that would be greedy’’
“The the horns working, now try the lights”
“Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk”
“The Rear Admiral has spoken”
(Just before you fart) “Alexa, play something by Ed Sheeran”
“Don’t worry, (name), I’ll tell them it was me!”
“You’ve/I’ve got a turd honking for the right of way.”
“Ahh, the ghost of dinners past”
“You got that one for free, next one you will have to pull my finger”
“As foretold by The Prophecy.”
“Now your turn”
The toothless one speaks !
“Sounds much better after my tune up”
“Aaaand…scene!”
“That was supposed to be a song but came out of the wrong end”
“Message from turd castle”
“Glad I’m not in my Space Suit”
“Damn! I was saving that for the elevator”
“An empty house is better than a bad tenant”
“Guess what I had for my last meal”
“This haaause is noww cleeeean”
“carpet frogs”
“Now that I have your attention, we will have a moment of silence for all those that have died in elevator accidents”
Are you supposed to say all that every time? Seems like a lot to remember.
Every. Time. You’ll be there a while. Just in time for another. And then it cycles again. It’s a rollercoaster you’re never getting off.
