I would never interpret an uptick in noise from my neighbors as a message. I’m autistic and very unperceptive in this dimension so it may well just be me, but I think I’d start worrying about someone if they told me they thought that their neighbor coughing or laughing more audibly than usual was an attempt at communication.
Even the other sounds… maybe you got a new sex toy or developed an embarrassing medical condition. I’d just assume you’re doing your thing, not trying to weird me out.
The message was just “you can hear me” which I hoped would then logically translate to “therefore I can also hear you”. The normal kinds of sound just didn’t get the message across for some reason so I added the awkward element - it allowed for longer sound duration than briefly coughing or laughing, and made it more difficult to ignore. I’m pretty sure they thought I was just doing my thing.
It’s definitely a very oblique and passive aggressive approach to the problem, but it worked well enough that I didn’t have to go for something more confrontational, which would have been the next step.
I would get that message, but I’d probably assume that if you’re living in a shared building, you’re cool with sounds of other people doing their thing, have coping mechanisms, or will speak to me/write me a note (could even be anonymous).
Now I just hope my neighbors are and have always been assertive/aggressive enough to spell it out. Except for the upstairs adult neighbors who rollerbladed back and forth on their tile floor for a couple hours a week to build proficiency. I do hope they were constantly annoyed.
They were the only neighbors I’ve ever had to do this with after many years of apartment living. I am fine with normal sounds, but their noise far exceeded normal constantly, and I have an expectation that shared living needs to come with a level of consideration for others. I know it wasn’t just my problem either, there were multiple complaints made to the property managers by other apartments, to no effect.
I chose this approach intentionally to avoid confrontation with obviously aggressive and unreasonable people. They had a reputation for regularly screaming obscenities at each other and anyone else who displeased them. Knowing the exact content of all their arguments, I knew that normal human interaction was likely to direct their aggressive behavior towards me, which would not achieve my goal of sleeping at night.
I would never interpret an uptick in noise from my neighbors as a message. I’m autistic and very unperceptive in this dimension so it may well just be me, but I think I’d start worrying about someone if they told me they thought that their neighbor coughing or laughing more audibly than usual was an attempt at communication.
Even the other sounds… maybe you got a new sex toy or developed an embarrassing medical condition. I’d just assume you’re doing your thing, not trying to weird me out.
The message was just “you can hear me” which I hoped would then logically translate to “therefore I can also hear you”. The normal kinds of sound just didn’t get the message across for some reason so I added the awkward element - it allowed for longer sound duration than briefly coughing or laughing, and made it more difficult to ignore. I’m pretty sure they thought I was just doing my thing.
It’s definitely a very oblique and passive aggressive approach to the problem, but it worked well enough that I didn’t have to go for something more confrontational, which would have been the next step.
I would get that message, but I’d probably assume that if you’re living in a shared building, you’re cool with sounds of other people doing their thing, have coping mechanisms, or will speak to me/write me a note (could even be anonymous).
Now I just hope my neighbors are and have always been assertive/aggressive enough to spell it out. Except for the upstairs adult neighbors who rollerbladed back and forth on their tile floor for a couple hours a week to build proficiency. I do hope they were constantly annoyed.
They were the only neighbors I’ve ever had to do this with after many years of apartment living. I am fine with normal sounds, but their noise far exceeded normal constantly, and I have an expectation that shared living needs to come with a level of consideration for others. I know it wasn’t just my problem either, there were multiple complaints made to the property managers by other apartments, to no effect.
I chose this approach intentionally to avoid confrontation with obviously aggressive and unreasonable people. They had a reputation for regularly screaming obscenities at each other and anyone else who displeased them. Knowing the exact content of all their arguments, I knew that normal human interaction was likely to direct their aggressive behavior towards me, which would not achieve my goal of sleeping at night.