‘It is rule 62 of the Olympic Charter that we have to have a condoms story,’ says IOC spokesman Mark Adams
No problem, they can get fingered by the Canadians
Doesn’t this happen virtually every year?
Yeah sounds like PR at this point. They probably release this press message every year right when viewership and interest drops when the Olympics is halfway done.
All because of Jimmy fucksalot and his massive cock
he dropped his magnum condom for his magnum dong.
If I was an athlete and there were condoms with Olympic logo branding getting handed out, I would SO hoard them for souvenirs. Can you imagine?
They’re in Italy. There are farmacie all over the place. They can get store-brand ones.
Plus they’re officially branded, not some knockoff. It would be an amazing gag gift.
gag gift??? Wrong kink, my friend
They’d need quite a lot of them (which they don’t have) but I suppose they could make it work
I don’t see why condom companies aren’t shipping in truckloads for free. You can’t beat that kind of publicity. L
This reads like the startn of Dr Seuss erotica
I found myself in Italy
They said we could have condoms free
All partnered up by two or three
Everyone partook with glee
But now none are left for meSo hearken friends
My luck portends
This story ends
For me unfortunatelyI skied directly into a tree
Then rolled the dice in the dormitory
It now burns badly when I pee
I hope my mom is proud of me
I only brought home an STD
You can’t beat
🤔
That’s less than 4 per athlete, not sure why they thought that would be enough.
They ended up only having a little over 2 per athlete after Condoms Georg took 4,000 for balloon animals.
Per athlete or pair of athletes? I’m too lazy to Google
Per athlete. It’s about 6 and a half per male athlete.
Which poor guy has half a Dingdong?
You got the numbers backwards. This is one guy who has 6 and a half condoms worth of dingdong.
Why do you specify “male” athlete?
Unless being used for onanism, it’s one condom per couple, although trios and other combos, and non penetrative sex probably fudge the math a little).
Because we have statistics for how many male olympians are there, but no stats for how many couples are there. It’s worth remembering that olympians don’t have to shack up with other olympians. Many of them brought partners, and I would bet at least a few are asexual.
My thought was “per olympian penis”, but I admit it doesn’t account for non-olympian penises.
While I don’t doubt many athletes are being quite active.
I’d also believe it’s a joke at this point for them to all take as many as they can no matter if they intend to use them or not.A few years ago an athlete said in an interview that they are Olympics branded condoms, so he stuffed his backpack full of them
There was an article a few years ago where a few athletes were interviewed anonymously IIRC. It’s a fuckfest. You put a lot of people in peak physical shape together, what are you expecting?
Also people who by and large havent been out living wild social lives for quite a while. Laser beam focused on one goal. Once you have competed, one way or another the pressure is off and you are surrounded by people who are in the exact same position.
You roll initiative onto someone and they pull out one of these bad boys, and I call that a ‘power move’.
Let them. How is this not huge free publicity!
You want more olympians, this is how you get more olympians.
Um, that’s not how condoms works.
this is how you get more olympians.
If enough people are in the market, have egg or sperm donor companies call people who medal.
considers
Looking down the road, because my expectation is that sooner or later, we’re going to be doing human genetic engineering, a company getting Olympian genetic material like that might be — as long as they can operate in a legal jurisdiction that doesn’t prohibit human genetic engineering — better off just calling up medalists and licensing their DNA. I don’t think that you can copyright DNA under current US case law, though it might be patentable.
investigates
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Copyright_status_of_genetic_sequences
As of 2016, genetic sequences were not recognized as copyrightable subject matter by any jurisdiction.[3] The United States Copyright Office’s position is that “DNA sequences and other genetic, biological, or chemical substances or compounds, regardless of whether they are man-made or produced by nature,” are ideas, systems, or discoveries rather than copyrightable works of authorship.[15]: 23
You might not need to copyright or patent it, though, if you can just keep the changes you make secret. I mean, you get sperm/egg from Random Person, you do your proprietary modifications, you generate an embryo, you implant. I’m not sure how hard it would be for some other company to reverse-engineer the changes by looking at people’s DNA relative to background noise in the DNA.
searches
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33095042/
A large majority of countries (96 out of 106) surveyed have policy documents-legislation, regulations, guidelines, codes, and international treaties-relevant to the use of genome editing to modify early-stage human embryos, gametes, or their precursor cells. Most of these 96 countries do not have policies that specifically address the use of genetically modified in vitro embryos in laboratory research (germline genome editing); of those that do, 23 prohibit this research and 11 explicitly permit it. Seventy-five of the 96 countries prohibit the use of genetically modified in vitro embryos to initiate a pregnancy (heritable genome editing). Five of these 75 countries provide exceptions to their prohibitions. No country explicitly permits heritable human genome editing.
The thing is that in practice, if you want in vitro implantation, you can probably just travel abroad to a jurisdiction that doesn’t prohibit it, unless countries assert extraterritorial jurisdiction that attaches to their citizens. If someone wants an Olympianized kid, I imagine that traveling abroad isn’t that much additional barrier. Extraterrorial jurisdiction exists, but it is very rare; prohibitions on child sex tourism are one notable example that a number of countries do.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extraterritorial_jurisdiction
EDIT: Replaced the text and citation for the legal overview, as it looks like the earlier link was to a spam site that copied it.
Take it from me, you don’t want to go down the “eugenics” road…
Eugenics have a bad rep since they were popularized by nazis. But hey - animal rights and identification documents were also initially nazi ideas and they gained traction.
I just hope, that when eugenics come back to public light again, they will come out of EU (regulated to hell and back) instead of USA or China. It’s one thing to eliminate genetic diseases or such, but completely another thing with steering people into some dystopian genetic hellhole.
I have a feeling it’s gonna be a long road, getting from here to there with eugenics. I’d much rather use technology to overcome our limitations.
I would like to overcome my limitations in this fashion. Aside from my tongue and naughty bits, the human body doesn’t offer me any experience that I enjoy.
Wishing to become just a brain in a robot body sadly misunderstands the totality of the human body. It’s been shown that gut biome affects mental health, for example.
One would assume that a robotic body would have devices and supplement cartridges for that, automatically monitored and regulated. The human body is a machine - but a robotic version would be actually optimally designed, rather than an endless variety of useful accidents. Even better, you can move the brain into different vessel shapes, each built for a particular purpose.
In any case, converting a fleshy brain’s memories into an computerized format would be preferable. Unfortunately, I suspect that is hard to pull off without being lossy or fatal.
I would watch the cybernetic olympics.
It would be like Robot Wars, but with a lot more strategies. Rock wall climb? Hover boots, piledriver spikes, gecko skin, and so on. Someone should make an anime or show focused on robosports.
From the moment I understood the weakness of my Flesh
Sir, we did it, we got Olympian sperm!
Excellent, what sport?
Shot put
Fuck.
Seems fine to me.
lol I didn’t mean anything by it, if those two had a kid it would be a real life Gaston
Forget in vitro, just CRISPR that shit into my DNA!
In France, they gave 300k condoms. That’s 30x the amount they gave here. And they used them all in France, how long the fuck did they think those 10k would last?
For what it’s worth, there are more people at the summer Olympics than the winter ones (~10,500 in Paris and ~2,900 at Milan according to Wikipedia) but still one would think there should at least be 1/4 as much if they’re just looking at athlete numbers alone.
10k for 20 days of olympic and for 3k athletes that is 10k * 2 / 20 / 3k = 1/3 of a condom per couple per day, that sounds down right reasonable for a bunch of young, perfectly shaped teenagers constantly in celebration mode.
I wouldn’t want to share a condom with two other couples each day. That’s barbaric. /j
I think Brazil gave out 400.000
Young, fit and healthy athletes, following intense build up and cumulative training are ready to peak explosively, just about now.
Best souvenir going. But also a lot of young people in peak physical condition. As someone I know commented “everyone is 10/10 from the neck down.”
And those people have higher than average testosterone, so they’re hornier. Apparently Olympic Village is a small orgy, hence all the condoms.
There are 3000 people there. That’s no small orgy.
They’re not all shagging at the same time
Of course not. They have to get dressed to compete at their other sport at some point.
And I find condoms past the expiration date.
10’000 is super low, I remember hearing about one or two hundred thousand in recent years. I guess that was regular and not winter, but still. No wonder they ran out.
Winter Olympics, probably fewer people than the summer Olympics, where they had 300k.
You can only do missionary in Italia! Condom is ungodly.
I wonder why they don’t carry some from home lol
