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I’m fine. How are you?
I read the first column and thought “Huh, guess I’m not as Dad as I thought I was,” but then ticked every box on the second column.
I mean some of them seem very normal and not unique to dads. Like “look horses”, why the fuck would i not tell people that there are horses? That goes for most groups of animals, animals are cool.
“Smells good!” When nothing smells good
Hey kid, you like menthols?
Got 12, but i also slow down to yell “Grosses vaches” when driving by cows. (Fat cow)
18/20 jfc… This was probably a quarter of that before being a middle aged dad and inheriting my father’s clothes.
I am quite surprised how many Lemmy users have such high scores on the dadness meter.
I am dad of two and I perceive myself as a pretty square, but I have near to 0 points.
Hi "quite surprised how many Lemmy users have such high scores on the dadness meter.
I am dad of two and I perceive myself as a pretty square, but I have near to 0 points."
I’m dad!
I always say “flock of cows” to bait someone into saying “herd of cows” so that I can say “of course I’ve heard of cows!” Watching their faces is priceless.
there’s a chance the flock of cows would just pass me by unnoticed as i wrangle the conversation in my head and then hours later i realize something off about it in the shower or in bed
I do this from time to time but with bison. I will casually slip “flock of bison” into a conversation hoping someone corrects me to “herd of bison”. So I can say. “No I hadn’t heard about your bi son. You must be so proud.”
I use school of deer when spotting deer and things like herd, pod or flock of fish while fishing.
I feel personally attacked
Nothing about a lot of grocery bags and exactly one walk?
I refuse to use any of these.
Instead I like to come up with my own new ones.Like when someone comes back in right away after forgetting something.
I’m like: “Finally! Do you know how worried I’ve been?”My go to is “see you on Monday”
They walk back in
“Good morning, how was the weekend?”
When my kids were little, I joked about getting the “special saw” for their injuries. Looking back now, that’s pretty terrifying but at the time, … Same.
Ouch… 18/20
Edit: They forgot the mandatory clicking of the tongs after picking them up.
And don’t forget the requirement to pull the button two to three times immediately after picking up a power drill.
They forgot the mandatory clicking of the tongs after picking them up.
That’s because that’s an everyone thing, not just dads. I have done this since I old enough to hold them.
Of course. Makes the food taste better.
(I do that with the table marker things at Chick-Fil-A too…)
I WOULD do it, but my tongs are silicone-coated (for air fryer removal)
I have the other 2. Combined we can make a whole dad
cool, now you only have to decide who enters who
I thought about this recently and it does make sense. You’ve gotta test the spring so you can use the right amount of force
I think I’m about 90% dad here.
With four children, I think it still means I have to parent them all.
As someone who used to work in retail, if I’m ever caught saying “guess it’s free then,” I sincerely hope everyone in the store immediately stops what they’re doing to form an orderly line to take turns slapping the piss out of me.
I used to just say, “If you can run fast enough. I don’t know if I’d chance it though… Tony’s working today.”
“Nope, actually means it’s not for sale. Sorry.”
The shocked pikachu face they make is fucking priceless
In my experience, they usually take the counter-dad joke in stride, and we move on (sometimes they do make an obviously exaggerated expression as part of the joke). I’m probably an outlier, but I’ve always found “that means it’s free” quaint if just really trite; it’s just trying to be friendly and make my monotonous day a little more fun, and I understand from their perspective that it isn’t conspicuously overused. So I take the joke for its intent (I’ve never seen it used seriously, and imagining a remotely sane human being doing so strains credulity) instead of its actual novelty or cleverness. I will never make it because it’s so worn-out and I know it’ll make most people in retail groan, but I don’t begrudge people who do, since I’ve never seen it used in a sincerely harassing, negative way.
One thing I have grown into is to refuse to use my time to try to find prices for stuff, when the store fails to label it.
I’m right there with you! That was the only one that I refuse to do!
